Random stuff...

As the year approaches the end, I do fear that my secondary four students had not been sufficiently, adequately prepared for the O’Levels. There is this secret fear that I might have been the deciding factor or the weak link in the chain. That the students were actually capable, given a better teacher, one much better than myself. I’m not angling for praise or anything. I don’t really want the students to think that I’m the best teacher in the world or anything like it. In fact, I do know that I’m far from the best. What I do want is to know that I’ve done my best by them. And this fact eludes me. I honestly cannot say that I’ve done my best by them. There’ve been times when I feel like giving up on them. There’ve been times when I look at them and don’t actually believe in them. There’ve also been times when I look at them and wonder how can other people not see them as I see them, people with potential if only they would put their minds to it. So intent of squandering what potential they have, for a little fun right here and now. And at the heart of all these ponderings, I wonder if I’ll blame myself for not bothering hard enough to get them to try harder. I think I can safely say that in terms of academic teaching, I’ve not let them down. I’ve taught to the very best of my abilities. If my abilities are lacking, I can only say sorry, but better luck next time. But what I do have a problem with, is my inability to motivate them. I see them as people with potential but too short-sighted to make use of it. I see what could have been. But I’m clueless as to what I can do to make them see it as well.

Maybe the stress of the O'Levels is really getting to me. Some of them are really trying now, and that's really good. But for some others, they're still living in whatver lala land they've always been living in. =_=