Roar!!!

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow!!! T_T Oh why can't I still be a student... Then I can go to school and stone out. But I can't! coz I got to teach!!! *cries*

spent the weekend rotting at home... coz I have no money left. But it feels good to rot at home. *shrugs* maybe I'm a natural bummer. haha.

fuck! I hate planning lessons!! Especially after the fucking exams!! FUCK!!!!!

okies... done venting... back to work. =_=

Post exams syndrome

I think I'm eating too much. There's just nothing much for me to do... Except eat that is. =_= actually, I do have work to do. Just that it's not so urgent nowadays. All the stress of marking, the horrid promotion exercise, even the bulk of post-exams activities are over and done with. Even the fieldtrip out with my form class was fun. Embarrassing but fun. In fact, the past week has been pretty relaxing. Spent it catching up with old pals over dinner and going for training. I want to make it for training at least once a week from now on. Excluding the period of my 3 weeks course of course. T_T man... I want to weep at the thought of the course. T_T

okays... Got to go back to writing remarks for my kids. Man... It's so tough to think up different positive stuff to say bout each of them. Now I understand the pain of my old form teachers. And that having a "bubbly disposition" (something I've always gotten in my report books) is merely an euphemism for being talkative and loud. =_=

Marking Season...

It's the marking season now and things are crazy... I think the amount of marking I have to do is horrid to say the least... all essays!!! I hate reading lousy essays... they put me in a foul mood. Add in the fact that my wisdom tooth is acting up and I have a new series of books to read is enough to drive me nuts! All I can think about are my books! Now I have to resort to "rewarding" myself with a few chapters when I've finished marking certain classes. =_=

I feel so restricted!!! And I so dread the impending visit to the dentist... mainly because of the cost involved... =_=

Similarities...

I came across this article called "Changing Russia" on the BBC website
a while ago, and was struck by its similarities with our tiny little island state.

I met one old man, a veteran of the siege of Leningrad, hanging around outside a shop in St Petersburg where I had just bought a razor and pack of blades which cost more than a Russian pensioner's basic income.
Now you could not quite say he was begging - he was selling packets of old-fashioned cigarettes which still come in their Soviet-era packaging at slightly inflated prices.
He had seen the same thing done by the sharp young men who run stalls in tourist flea-markets and he had copied the idea for himself - another little victory for market economics.
I bought a couple of packs and we stood chatting for a while as the evening sun smoothed the ripples off the Gulf of Finland behind us and left it looking like a sheet of beaten steel.
On my journey back to my beachfront hotel I found myself threading my way through a car park filled with Mercedes and BMWs and even the odd Bentley.
Clearly Russia's spectacular transition has created winners as well as losers.

Doesn't it just reminds you of the old aunties and uncles selling tissue in the middle of Orchard Road?

Nothing much happened this week but...

it's also not quite accurate to say that nothing happened. I finally cleared the third and last (for now) of the BT courses assigned to us by the powers at the 'dark tower' today. Although the courses were basically a bloody waste of time, and the trainers were pretty boring, it was nice making new friends and seeing old friends at these courses. It was fun trading stories about the kids and the different cultures in different schools. What's more fun was to be able to act like students once more. The class was not well-behaved at all, which was kinda an irony coz the course was on classroom management. =_= I think some of us were even modelling the more unsavory behaviour of our students. Even JS (one of my old mates at nie) thinks that the trainer today has (in his words) "condemned" us in her "little black book" for being "bad students". Hahaha... that guy ah! Super funny when he wants to be, telling us stories bout how he "terrorised" his kids at CND and DH. We were singing the stupid buffulo song near the end of the course (it's not part of the course though but we were really really BORED) and till now, I still can't get the bloody tune out of my head. Arghhhh... it's driving me nuts!

On to other news, it's the last quiet week I'll have for quite a long time to come. The papers will be coming in starting next monday and I'm kinda nervous over the results of my kids. I really hope they'll be able to do well for the paper. Well, if not well, that they would be able to do it at the very least, and I hope that it wouldn't put them off the subject. One reason I resent the BT courses so much was because it took my time away from school so near the exams! I can't even arrange extra lessons for the kids who want them. Sigh... it's all up to them now since the paper is on monday. PLEASE STUDY!!! *prays*

T_T

Made a huge mistake at work recently. It's all because I was too careless... =_= the amount of work to be done to rectify the mistake is humongous! But it’s done at long last!!

At times like these, I’m really grateful for all the understanding, fantastic and supportive friends and colleagues I have. To help someone when you're free is a nice thing to do but to help someone when you're swamped with your own work is truly exceptional. Thanks auntie keong for helping me with the paper and giving me constructive opinions! I really appreciate it. =)

J, thanks for listening to me whine bout my own mistake. =) I really needed to vent bout it.

Can't Cry Hard Enough

No... I'm not depressed or anything...

I just heard this song over the radio and it got me thinking bout my year one days when I walked home from the mrt station after training (with the huge and heavy bougu), listening to this song on my discman (back in the era before my ipod). They may be "primitive", but those were good days! I've not heard this song for ages! Ever since I lost the CD with a long time back. Even though it's a rather depressing song, it sure as hell brings back good memories.

Ahhh... I want to be a student again. Oh what would I give to be able to sleep in lectures, eat in class, or having the liberty to skip lessons just coz I don't feel like going once again. hahaha....

Perspective is really a scary thing. The things I've just listed happens to be the very things I scold my kids for, every bloody single day! =P

Tomorrow is Wednesday and the week will be over soon!!! I sure hope I can make it down for training on Thursday. *crossing my fingers* =P

Constricted

Been feeling a little tight around the chest these days. And no... It's not because I've been eating too much or anything. It's just a feeling of being restrained, enclosed. It's pretty weird because I've just got to know my colleagues better these days with all the gossiping in the staffroom and the dragonboat training and what nots. And yet, I still feel closed in. It's like my life revolves around school and nothing but school.

I miss kendo and life in general. =_=

It's over...

And thus, the much awaited and longed for holidays are over. I'm not looking forward to the year-end holidays coz I've got to go for a 3 weeks course. T_T

Honestly, the holidays just flew by me. I mean... Suddenly it's Sunday once more and school starts tomorrow. T_T I'm sure many of the kids feel the same way I do. But misery shared doesn't make it better. T_T

I used to think that I like going for courses and missing class... But after a while, I realised that it's just not worth it. The amount of "catch up" one has to do is horrendous. Missing classes is just not worth that shit. I'll be on course for 2 days this coming week and I'm already dreading the amount of time wasted and work to be done the subsequent week. arghhhhhhhh........

Ahhh... The amount of work to be done today is mountainous... But I feel like lazing the whole day... decisions decisions....=_=

Ahhhhhh........The week's half gone!!! What on earth happened to it??!!!

T_T

It's Wednesday. The week's half gone.... and not much work had been done. ahhhh... I'm so inefficient. =_=

Today I held my first extra lesson in the hols and only 15 turned up. While I'm happy these 15 turned up... I'm kinda sad that the rest didn't. =_= I'm sort of comforted that some (the "naughty" ones) came especially for my class and actually attempted to pay attention. But overall, it can be counted as a flop lah. =_=

Moral of the story... Don't be too ambitious or too positive... Murphy's Law almost always holds true.

But I like those kids a lot... I also don't know why. hahahaha....

The end of a guilt-free weekend!!

I told myself that no work would be done in the weekend. And I kept my word!! The end result is that starting from tomorrow, there's tons of work to be done and no more slacking allowed. Argh... Think I've got to head down to school to do some work on the morrow. *sigh*

wonders if I should go for training on Monday... hmmm.... Maybe I should make the trip down. *meditates*

Teachers' Day

Well, it's sort of weird to be on the receiving end this time round. But it's all cool. Heh... coz there's no lessons today and the sept hols are finally here!!!!! Yippee!~!!

But seriously, today was pretty fun with one minor setback. I wore sport shoes today and my kids marveled over my height… or the lack of which. =_= Suddenly, they all seemed so tall. The concert that the kids put up was really cool. Especially the upper secondary performance! The band was cool (especially the one with one of my kids in it). =P The beatbox performance was super impressive and the monkey dance by the ncc boys was hilarious! We had a wonderful time trying to mimic them in the staffroom.

Things were so relaxed today. Though we were not supposed to, ben and I sneaked out to macs to buy breakfast coz we were jealous of the 4E1 kids who had macs breakfast as a prize for some competition some time back. Hahaha... Beng was happily waving the middle finger pen his kid gave him around in the staffroom... hehe... the people there are so funny sometimes. I didn't get much stuff lah. Some of the teachers have to use huge plastic bags to fit all their gifts and cards! Haha... mine can fit in my bag! I love the little notes and cards and little gifts my kids gave. I think the notes and gifts that touched me the most were from my form class. The little buggers can be so sweet sometimes.

Oh ya! One card made a huge impression and it was not even addressed to me! This kid from my form class wrote a note to one of the other teachers and I happened to read it. It was really touching! Coz this teacher had really made a difference in his life and that's what teaching is all about -the ability to touch lives and makes a difference. Man... I sound so cliche now. *puke puke*

Looking forward to meeting dearest J tomorrow and a guilt-free weekend ahead of me! Woohoo!! Happy Teachers' Day to ya all! =)

Fish

This is really ridiculous. I just got into an argument with my mum over a bloody fish! Or rather, I would say that I can't agree with her attitude. The fish was dying so she wanted my maid to scope it up and throw it away without delay. She wouldn't even buy medicine from the aquarium to give it a chance. When I asked if she was going to do the same to Toby when he's dying, she said yes. I got angry and said that then she shouldn't expect better from me when she gets older. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I kinda regretted them but I just couldn't back down. So now I'm not speaking to her. I regretted my words but I still don't agree with her attitude and her way of doing things. She may be my parent but she's not always right. I think I ought to consider this point in future when dealing with my kids.

Self Gratification Rocks!

Haha... Today's the long awaited day of the month and I blew a few hundred bucks in the space of a few hours... Sigh... I need professional help I do... But I feel so happy buying all those stuff! I went out with the intention of getting a new top and a pair of birkenstock. I ended up with no top (T_T), a pair of birkenstock (within expectation), a new pair of wedges(which my mum says looks exactly the same as my other pairs of wedges), a limited edition shimmer powder + lip gloss from Dior (they were so pretty that I couldn't resist them) and managed to settle Candice's upcoming birthday present! *feels accomplished* but the downside is that I'm now poorer and my school work's been left undone. Still, it was a good day today... with good food, good company and a satisfying bitching session. =P

Here's me and Nat acting spaz as usual...

Auntie and Ra posed for the camera... i.e. acting cute... esp auntie... wah lau... hahaha... but they're really cute lah... =P

Here's a pic of Nat acting spaz... which is her usual self by the way... while I try to appear composed and poised. hahahahahaaahaha....

This is more or less the only decent pic taken of us that doesn't involved any of us acting/appearing spaz or loony... =_=

Moving's a bitch!

argh... I never knew I have so much stuff that I don't need yet reluctant to throw away... every move involves decisions. What to throw, what to keep, what to pack and what to leave behind. It's tough making these decisions because somewhere down the line, I know I'll look back and think.. "Damn! I shouldn't have thrown XYZ away!!" but right now, it's too much of a hassle to bring everything along.

One thing keeps my spirits up though! I'm looking forward to meeting up with dearest J tomorrow and payday the day after!!! *grinz*

*wails*

T_T

I had forgotten to return my teachers investiture gown before the 6th of this month and lost my deposit of bout 50 bucks in the process. T_T I thought the deadline was the 8th!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH........my money.... my heart aches with the thought of the lost 50 bucks! T_T

Had my teachers investiture ceremony recently. One of the highlights of the month of July. Not because of the ceremony itself of course, it's the people that mattered. Met with the nie peeps for a round of much needed bitching. =P


Thought I'll upload some of the nicer pictures took recently as a break from the recent spree of "complaints" masquerading as blog entries. =P

A brand new month!!

Not a good day today. But I'll live. My classroom management skills still need tons of polishing I guess. But I really cannot take my sch's discipline policy. Whatever the kids did wrong, it's always "talk to them nicely"... what kind of a message are they trying to send out to the kids? Do something bad and the teachers will talk to you nicely about it? WTF!?

I'm pissed that this kinda kids exist and kinda glad that my form class don't have anyone like that in it. In fact, despite being rather naughty... ok... very naughty, my form class is also very sweet. Some of them even offered to help me "deal with that kid". Haha... I guess in life, you win some and you lose some. Nothing can be perfect... in fact, nothing should be perfect.

Here's hoping that everyone in my class can pass their history test and that tomorrow will be a better day! =)

It's sunday again...

It just kills me... that time passes so fast in the weekend! And so slowly during the week... The only saving grace is that I'll see my form class on monday. But knowing them, I'll probably leave the class fuming. =_=

When I'm feeling low, I'll just take out some of the reflections they wrote on friday and read em. And I'll realised (or rather reaffirmed) that it's not about me. It's about the kids. It's about helping them be all that they can be. I may not be able to do that well, but I have to try.

Oh well, as we all know, "self-centered" is my middle name. Let's hope that this belief lasts past this coming week.

Friday is my favourite day of the week!!

First off, today's my dearest dad's birthday!! Happy birthday papa!! Here's wishing you all the happiness in the world, not to forget good business and better luck in 4D! hehe...

Ok! Back to the subject of "friday". I'm always chirpy on fridays! It's really my favourite day of the entire week... because the weekend is here!!! That's how I live... from one weekend to the next. =P

But school is getting more tolerable. I love some of my kids... not all of them of course... but the majority are really adorable. Especially my form class. Yes, they may be a little naughty and noisy... ok... make that very noisy and inattentive at times, but they are really sweet. I never thought I'll say this but I love teaching them, talking to them, seeing them around in school.

Today for PCCG, the class had to write reflections on... basically anything under the sun. Some of the kids wrote some nice stuff bout yours truly. Hehe... and it really warmed my heart. =) Reading their reflections (i.e. some of their thoughts and feelings) made me understand them a little better. I really hope that i'll be able to help them pass their final year paper.