Bitch

Hmmm..... how do I renege on a promise made? Should I give an excuse? Or should I just say I've changed my mind? I really don't want to waste my time. =_=

Oops! I'm not interested....

I sort of realised this theory a while back. It might not be a revelation or anything but this simple fact governs most any human relations.

Interest is reciprocal in nature. Those people who are nice and really interested in the lives of people around them have the liking of these people. These people are generally popular and well-liked. To be liked by people, you have to like them first. I don't like most people much.

Like most emotions and relations, interest's a tit for tat sort of thing. You're interested in what I'm saying and therefore, I'm interested in your life.

Me... I'm simply not interested in a lot of things and to expect me to pretend to show interest is excruciating. When someone is going on and on about some stupid shit or when I read something nonsensical and redundant, my eyes just glaze over and I'm playing tennis with my imaginary friend in the clouds. That being said, I do have self-awareness, I'm not the most interesting person in the universe or anything where even close to it. To be fair, if I'm not interested in you or anything you have to say, I don't expect you to pay attention to me. I don't blame you if you're not interested in my stuff. So if I have no reaction, I'm sincerely NOT interested. Nothing personal there... much. Looking at it in another angle, if I express interest, I'm really interested. No faking there. Just a random rant coz some people really think that they're god's gifts to others. =_=

=)

Here's a great big thank you for all the fabulous people wishing me happy birthday via twitter, smses, facebook, phonecalls and even e-mails! Though most of you would never read this post or even come across this blog, you're all much appreciated!

Thanks guys! =)

23rd - 24th Jan 2010

And so, I turned 28 today.

But the weekend was fun! Ok, to be honest, friday wasn't great. There was this ridiculous seminar that took all day and masters class that took up 1/2 my night. =_=

Saturday started off on a good note! Had lunch with the family and my bro and sis-in-law gave me a big ang bao! hehe.... Present from Mum was collected last month... hehehe... it was a great present too! Younger bro was stingy (keke) and gave me only an arm band for iphone but it is still much appreciated!

Met up with D and J for our planned weekend out! Had a room at Meritus Mandarin along Orchard Rd!

The room was nice! =) But what mattered the most was the company which was fantastic! The room number was 1024! Which was coincidentally the same numbers as my birthday! And so, we tried to buy 4D but alas, it was too late to buy for Saturday when we thought of it.

We spent lots of time just walking around orchard and buying lots of snacks and other assorted stuff! Bak Kua, cookies, donuts, face masks etc etc! J introduced the red bean donut and it was fabulous!!! I was sad that I forgot to buy some for Monday's breakfast when I left orchard today!

Our snacks and other assorted stuff as seen above!

Besides the free hotel stay, I got a nice camera strap for my little DSLR! I love it lah! We went for dinner, went back to the room to put down stuff and sat through a lousy movie with a hot actor. Legion.... hmmm.... wait for the DVD.

Me and J playing around with photobooth in my macbook!

After which, we spent our time watching You are Beautiful on my laptop and marveled at Hongki's cuteness and JGS's charisma into the wee hours of the night. Haha... that is, after we put on the masks we bought earlier on.

Next morning, we cam-whored a bit before walking over to the Hereen's for a leisurely Mac's breakfast. The morning was relaxing and stress-free! I wished we could have had the room for a much longer period of time! Haha... though I know the bill will also be super high! hahaha....

D went back, supposedly to do some work but ended up watching You're Beautiful. Hehe... while me and J walked about more and shopped for DVDs before heading over to IMM for more shopping and coffee and to purchase F.T. Island Fan-meeting ticket!!

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend and one I'd remember for a long time to come! =)

Drained

Maybe I'm getting old. I feel really tired since work started this year. Sapped of all energy... but on a good note, I do like my classes this year. But then, that's hardly surprising... I've always liked the kids.... well, except for some of the idiots in 2006. Since then, they've all been great kids and a joy to have in class... sometimes.

This year... it's the year my kids graduate.... the secondary ones who came in when I did. I remembered them in 2007 when they were fresh secondary ones... and now they're in secondary four and will graduate at the end of this year. I wonder if I should graduate with them. haha... it'll be a good end to a good period of time.

That said, I'll still have to be with the dark towers of education... since Bhai girl will kill me if I break bond. =P

I'm hungry but am too lazy and resentful to cook anything to eat. hahaha....

2010

And so, I spent my new years' eve at home with my mum and brother. A quiet evening to be sure but strangely peaceful. I guess I'm too old to go counting down at some random and meaningless place with nameless crowds. I just don't have the energy anymore for this sort of stuff, not that I love doing em so much when I was younger... the millennium countdown at suntec was a horrible memory nearly a decade after it happened. haha...

I thought it apt that the first post of the year should contain notes on things I'm thankful for in 2009.

• My family -am grateful that they're healthy and happy and still with me. Though Tita and Toby are no longer around. I do hope that Tita will come back to us soon!
• My work has been all right this year round. Nothing huge happened and I guess I ought to be grateful for that.
• My kids were and still are wonderful! And I'm especially happy that some of my ex-students still bothered to keep in touch with me. Am especially happy when I get msgs from them or when I see them.
• My colleagues (now minus more than a few) were so important to me in school. I don't think I'll be able to get by with them to bitch to when something bad cropped up in school.
• My friends -last but definitely not the least. But of course! Some more important than others. I rank my friends remember? hahaha.... but in no particular order....

J for being indispensable. For listening to me whine and bearing with my faults, for being funny and ridiculous when I needed to laugh, for offering great advices and smart insights whenever I needed them. For being understanding when I needed my space and for all the great times spent together!
C for hanging around even though I'm not such a good friend sometimes. For being understanding and patient even though my temper gets the better of me sometimes. For making the effort to keep in touch when I'm such a bum.

D for all the rides you give without expecting anything in return. For dropping by unexpectedly just for a random chat. For pushing me to gym even though I would rather bum at home. For fetching me to ubi and pushing me to sign up for a driving course.

R for being there for me to bitch to when I needed a listening ear. For being an evil shopping fairy and for being a bad influence! LOL! But seriously, for being such a great friend that even though we don't meet up much, things remain cool!
N for giving us a sweet god-daughter to dote on! For the N-express (that one and only time). For being there with R for me to bitch to even though you're a busy working mummy now.
L for agreeing with all my bitchy complaints and never letting me feel that I'm weird or evil coz you're even more weird and evil than me! hahaha.... For being there (not so much this year) to accompany me to PP or East Coast when I'm damn bored! For letting me crash at your place and making me breakfast on top of it!
P for the friendship, support and companionship that didn't come at any price. For letting me crash at your place (this applies to L too!!) and making me masala tea and milo! For your trust when you signed as the guarantor for my bond! I promise to study hard!
B for your nonsense. For your crazy loud "Boonzzzz!! wanna go for coffee!" in the staffroom. For your crazy comments that cracked me up even though you're no longer here. For the crazy makan and KTV sessions.
S for the rides to Masters classes every week, for the powerpoints that saved my life more than once! For the friendship and support in the staffroom!
S for letting us make fun of you and not get angry much! For the laughter and craziness that you inspire. For the companionship and support in the staffroom! For letting me tag along to your movie date with your friend! hehe... for all the bitching and gossiping and crazy KTV sessions!

G, F and KK for being great friends and meeting up with us despite not being "there" anymore. You lucky things you!

At the start of a new year, I asked myself. Why am I in this profession when I can't stand the administrative work and the additional duties, not to mention the occasional and more than occasional wayang we have to do? Would I want to try something else? Why am I still hanging around? The bond is one reason of course (don't worry bhai, I'll study hard and not break my bond!) the other reason would be that the kids make me happy. I smile when I see them. Well... most of them anyway. =P

Europe 2009

Italy

Vatican City

Colosseum

Streets of Rome

Pisa

Venice

Austria

Switzerland

Germany(just passing thru)

Amsterdam

Paris

London

My pig-rabbit doll!

Hahaha... just thought I'd post a picture of the pig-rabbit doll J got for me for Christmas! I know its horribly overpriced and technically useless but I still love it! Thanks hon! =)

Europe pics will be up soon when I can find more time. Thing bout social networks like facebook is that its distracting me from my blog and such. *sigh* I need to get started on my photo album soon. =P

Because I can't blog on my iphone....

yesterday night I had something to say... now it's sort of jumbled up. I'll try to reconstruct my thoughts. Hmmm... where to start? Argh... But at this moment in time, it didn't seem so important now. It's enough that I'm feeling happy at the moment. It's not really that great a happiness, I remembered I was feeling really irritated last night before I got the text from J! J bought me the pig-rabbit plushie!!!! LOL! That really perked me up! Thanks hon! And L is home from Brisbane! We'll get to go blading at east coast and manicures at parkway again when I'm back from europe! Life is pretty good with fantastic friends and a holiday to look forward to. =)

Farewell!

And so, it's the end of an 'era' so to speak...

Our table... well most of us, the macik helped us to take the picture so she's not in it, or was it Sarene? Hmmm....

The guys at our table.

The five of us again! haha... no one left yet!

Managed to convince the shinanator to pose for a shot!

Me and Shin

Us with our lady boss, not to be confused with the big boss!

With the out-going 'boss' who was seriously kind to us... the new one don't seem so kind....

Shin with Sarene

Me and Sarene

Of the mothership...

Me and my mum... we don't get along when I was younger. It could be the temper I inherited from her, it could be that we don't see eye to eye on loads of stuff... but at the end of the day, it doesn't take much for us to clash esp during my teenage years. I wasn't a bad kid (as I would like to believe) but I was a stubborn kid. She even decided to move to ulu pasir ris partly because of me.

I had my wisdom tooth extracted yesterday. Woke up at 5 plus and couldn't take my anti-biotics coz bodoh me don't know how to cook porridge.... my mum woke up, ask me why I hadn't taken my meds and went on to cook porridge for me. I don't know why, but I feel really touched by this gesture. Usually when Tita was around, she wouldn't even step into the kitchen. Now, she's cooking porridge for me at 6plus in the morning when usually she's still sleeping. =)

Somehow, I think my mummy's great!~ =)

Realisations

I'm not a nice person.

I used to think that underneath the bluster and sarcasm and bitchiness, I'm really rather nice. That I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of others if I can help it etc etc... But now I revised my opinion of myself. If it doesn't interest me then I really don't give a flying fuck.

Getting more self-centered as I grow older. haha... oh well, some people get nicer as they grow older and more mature. I guess I'm just the opposite.

Of bumming around...

And so, the weekend has passed me by. It was a good one. We should always remember the good stuff and forget bout the bad coz they don't really matter in the long run except to remind us about how bad we feel at that point in time. =P Let us list our little blessings...

1. No CCA! Oh man! you don't know how ridiculously happy I was (still am) at that notion!
2. Met up with some of the gang for makan and talk cock session at East Coast. The school's not the same without them I swear!
3. Went to the hot babe's place for hari raya and met up with even more old colleagues.
4. Done absolutely no work this weekend! LOL except some extra lessons with the kids but am happy doing that. =)
5. Bought myself a ridiculously expensive set of headphones and feeling happy about it!
6. Thought things through and realised that I'm not as affected as I thought I would be. To me, that's the greatest achievement this weekend. =)

All in all, a weekend well spent.

Of connections forged...

And so I attempted to clean my room yesterday.... and came across several old yearbooks. The pictures inside really do bring back memories. I look at my 4E5'07 and it just seems so long ago! But it only seems like yesterday when they were waving at me outside their classroom when I'm at the coffeeshop across the road. I know I'm going to miss my 4E4'09 as much if not more. Afterall, they're almost like my "babies".

I do feel that the kids are pretty important to me. But as time passes, this connection will fade. But as with friends, connections will fade over time as well. We all change as we grow older. Nothing is permanent. I'll try not to blame my pals if ever they did pull away and I hope my pals won't blame me if I do the same. Haha... enough of the morbid ramblings. I'm looking forward to the end of the year!! No more school!! Whee!

Now back to writing SGCs. =(

Teachers' Day '09

One of my very first batch of kids. Truth be told, I felt as though they were my kids.... hahaha....one of the very few moments when I truly felt maternal.

Today wasn't half-bad. It wasn't as entertaining as last year but the important thing about Teachers' Day was all about the kids. And this year, many of them came back for a short visit. MH and D came all the way back to see me even though they've graduated 2 years back. Truth be told, I was touched. YJ, Zul and Sally came back as well. =) But I really think they came back more to see their friends more than to see me. Haha... it was also good to see SL and MY, to know that they're doing well. My 4E3'08 came back as well and all looked just as cute! Grown up slightly but still adorable.

Truth be told, I love presents! This year, I had the same kinda presents as previous years, minus the cups. But then again, that's a good thing. It's hard to find storage space for ceramic stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love all the stuff. The wackier the better. A special mention this year would be the video made by the chipmunk where she sang and played the guitar. She's adorable lah, though always so naughty. But then, what I love the most are the cards the kids make. I think my form class really put in effort this year and while I do love the assorted little stuff toys, pens and the odd coaster here and there, I love their cards! I love the solidarity they presented to the school when we all came in our class t-shirts and the way they sang the Barney song for me and wished me "Happy Teachers' Day" right smack in the corridor.

I can really say that I will miss this batch when they graduate this year. They might not have been the best class academically or even in terms of attitude and whatnots, but they're definitely the best in my point of view. They have spirit and character and I guess that's what counts for the most! Haha... in my point of view at least. =) I'll take good care of the cards they made and when I'm feeling down bout my work, I'm sure they will cheer me up! =)

Life's too short to make myself unhappy for others

Sometimes, I think teenagers have the right idea. Their self-centeredness and selfishness. Why should I suffer for the sake of others? It's selfishness I guess, but it's also self-preservation. If I know I will be unhappy, I shouldn't agree for the sake of agreeing. Why should I force myself to do something I know I'll feel resentful about and then complain about it?

Okies! Decided. Life's too short to make myself unhappy deliberately.

And so....

And so, NG-neechan left our sunny shore today. It was great seeing him again! His note at the airport made me laughed. Hehe... smart guy indeed. The dim sum in the morning was fabulous, the company fantastic and Sentosa was unexpectedly fun. All in all, a good day.

Piles of work left undone. Sunday promises to be a busy day. sigh...

I wonder why...

I wonder why I still bother... I can rationalize it with myself and I'm clear and cool with my rationalization of the issue. I wonder why I still feel upset about it. I wonder if it is the person in question. Liking and/or disliking someone is often irrational. Of all the traits I dislike, being dependent is the worst of the lot. Being on an emotional roller-coaster because of another person is not something I should ever do nor am I keen to do so. It's just seems so tiring. Social distancing is something I should do. The less contact the better. But it's so hard to distance myself when the other person's so sweet sometimes. Don't be too nice to me please...

latchkey kid

I think I finally have a slight inkling on how latchkey kids felt being left alone at home with no one else. In a sense, while dad and mum went out to work or to play mahjong, Tita was the one I spent the most amount of time with while I was growing up and I guess I was never lonely because of her.

Tita went back to the Philippines today. It's really amazing how quiet the house gets without her. First we lost Toby and now she's not here anymore. The house is really getting quieter and quieter. I used to be able to come home and say "Tita! I'm home! Anything to eat/drink etc etc" But now, I can't do that no more. 20 years is a really long time to get used to another person. But then again, I'm not a kid anymore and I do understand that separations are a fact of life. I just wish that she'll recover and come back to Singapore soon soon. =)

2007

Stayed back today with my little ah bengs. They had to finish up their SS test. We started talking and one of the subject was actually my 4E5'07. Hahaha.... my ah bengs are so cute. They started comparing their size with the 4E5s! Saying how my 4E5 looked so grown up when they were in sec 4 and how they thought they'd grow up like that and instead they look damn small and kiddish as compared to my 4E5'07. Kekekeke.... that's why they need to act fierce so people won't think they're sec 3s. LOL I think my kids are adorable! It's one reason why I like teaching so much. I have no liking for the admin work but the interaction with the kids is seriously a major draw. They keep me young.

Speaking of my 4E5'07, I think that 2007 is seriously my fav year. My 4E5 was there, so's my 4E2/3, my 3E3 was fantastic, my sec 1s were adorable. On a personal note, relationship outside sch was also smooth. All was good back then. The same cannot be said for now. I realised that I get more and more greedy as I grow older. Must be part of the growing old process. We get more possessive. =)

To end on a positive note, at least my form class is cute and there's no CCA for the past 2 weeks! LOL