Intolerance

I've been reading a friend's blog on and off. In it, there are many wonderful and idealistic messages of love, forgiveness and stuff of that sort. He's a buddhist btw. I often find myself agreeing with his point of view about how anger is bad and yada yada yada.... but truth be told, I'm far from reaching "enlightenment". Instead, I find myself being more and more intolerant as the years goes by. Aren't we suppose to be mellowed with age? Why am I more abrasive and confrontational as I grow older? As the years goes by, increasingly, I want to let my anger and dissatisfaction be felt by those who incurred it. It's like I care about other peoples' feelings when I was younger and thus was content to just swallow my anger. But now, I don't give a flying fuck. I'm angry and I WANT people to know that I'm fucking angry. H said that I'm actually committing career suicide. EQ's important I guess. But I'm still angry!

Haha... I should chill or go for anger management course.

It's Teachers' Day again!!

As usual, there's the presents and cards and "adoring" looks by the kiddos.... ok ok I exaggerates.

But there were some presents... all nice, some more useful than others but all thoughtful.

Some of the stuff bear special mention.... like these stuff....

The LV print on the bear is so cute lah. Hehe... it's great coz its my fav brand!

The msgs on these cards cracked me up! Seriously hilarious... but for the record, I don't really "abuse" the sec 5s.... haha....

And the little idiots came back for a visit!

It's August!!! Oh gosh...

Just back from ECP, the park my income tax (a rather large amount might I add) goes to help upkeep... =_=

Marking is a bitch but its not going to go away anytime soon. Finished 3 classes of 4E SS and there's still 4 more to go. My 2 stacks of 4NA's not done and another 7 will come in by Wednesday! ahhhhhhhhhhh.....................

I wonder where do they expect the graduating teachers to find the time to mark all the bloody papers!!!??? Weekends are going to be burnt marking.... if anyone asks me about August 2010, all the memories I have will be the ones of me marking in Starbucks! =P

On other matters, today I felt a twinge of being excluded but find that I'm rather ok with it. It was just a slight twinge.... nothing significant. I guess it's cause my social circle has widened and my worldview has widened as well. I think it's good that we have our own friends and activities. It makes life that much more interesting. =D

There's school tomorrow! Arghhhh...

I was gonna be emo bout stuff but.....

instead, I thought I'd write about how my mum is really my hero! And its really about the small things in life...like helping me buy the iPad? LOL! No lah. That wasn't what I was referring to.

And so, I was feeling slightly down.... about the sad state of my finances and the fact that someone who matters a lot to me apparently don't accord the same importance to me. Added to the fact that I'm really tired with work and feeling irrationally resentful over doing anything... Alas, now everything is so clear. Money wise, I'll just have to cut down on my spending until my credit card is cleared. As for the other matter... *shrugs* its out of my hands as well. No point antagonising over it. One step at a time I guess, no point borrowing trouble.

Anyways! Back to my mum! Today, not 10 minutes ago, she vanquished the evil cockroach from my room and flushed it down the toilet bowl! Truth be told, I'm not that afraid of cockroaches but to see one in the sanctuary of MY room startled me a great deal and I went to my mum and whined about it. She was afraid as well and amid lots of laughter and screaming.... we managed to immoboilised it with Dettol Shieldtox and grabbed it with loads of tissue and flushed it down the toilet bowl! After which we both bemoaned Tita's absence.

But yeah, this little incident really made me laughed and I think to myself, my mum's really my hero! sometimes.... =P

Lazaroo never fails to make me smile....

And so I was talking to the crazy lazaroo over msn and we decided to come up with a teacher's dictionary... actually it's mostly her. I just laughed and agreed with her. kekeke....Just a few stuff she came up with at the spur of the moment when I was complaining to her about how resentful I felt about having to do work during the hols. hahaha

student ( n): a person who is capable of driving an adult up the wall. Often deceiful and vengeful.

principal ( n): the head of an organisation, usu. a school. Often makes his/her employees do unnecessary things so as to increase the profile of the organisation

holiday ( n): a myth.

Taking stock of stuff

What triggered this? Hmmm... I would have to say that an ex-colleague turned friend triggered this post. We weren't exactly friends when she was still in service. I was the nervous newbie and she's the cool and self-possess senior that we all looked up to. The rest of the newbies had the time during their practicum to know the colleagues better but I entered with no such advantage. So I stood at the side and watch them interact. They were the cool cliche. Then one by one, they started to leave. Greener pastures for more capable people I guess. hahaha.... ironically, it took their resignation before we could become friends of a sort through the impromptu and organised meet-ups of the group.

Through these interactions, we sort of got to know each other better. I wouldn't say we are bosom pals but at least I would count them as friends instead of just ex-colleagues. And I'd have to say that I really admire her attitude in life. The heck them all and I don't care what others thought of me attitude. Best of all, she made sense without sounding whiny or like she was complaining. I wish I had that. To tell the people who pissed me off to just fuck off. I guess for me, moral courage is not enough. Financial independence is needed for that kinda attitude.

I must save more money. =P

Personal Best??

Today I finished my very first 10km event. Shall call it an event or a walk instead of a run because I walked majority of the way instead of running. haha...

Signed up for this way back in december last year.... told myself that I'll train hard for it. Result? Training done.... zero. But I decided to go for it anyway, thinking to myself that even if I walked all the way, as long as I do not stop, I'll be able to finish 10km since the time limit would be 2 hours. Later on, I found out that the limit's 3 hours! Wah! Happiness! But I forgot to collect my racepack and dot forgot to collect hers too. Without a tag, there's no way we can participate. Decided to try our luck anyways and found out on sat itself that we can still collect our race packs there and then! Again, double happiness! But dot had to ran an errand for work and I opted to follow her. The errand, the closure of roads plus the evening traffic made us almost 1.5 hours late for the race!

We decided to run anyways. I was kind of reluctant since my primary motive was the medal and if we didn't finish the race before 10, there would be no medal. Frankly speaking.... I have no confidence that I can finish 10km in 1.5 hours. Esp when I'm super unfit and had zero training.... was on the verge of giving up and going back to wait for dot in her car since I'm only holding dot back. But decided to try for it at the last minute with the mentality that I'll chuck all thoughts of medal out of my head and just finish the 10km.

We did it~ =) am super happy now!!! Was it my personal best? Hmmm... I wouldn't exactly say so... but at least I finished what I set out to do! Yosha!

It's may!!

Time passes so quickly that its sort of scary. It always seems so slow and endless when we were young. But then it speeds up as we get older. Take this year for example, it's already May and soon, half the year would have been gone. It wouldn't be long before December and then 2010 would be over before we know it. Things we want to do, things that we were hoping to be done, many would not be fulfilled by the end of the year but I think we can do at least some of the things we planned to do.

I want to bring my parents on a holiday before the end of 2010. A holiday paid for by me instead of them. I think it'll happen this year. It's time I think more of them than outsiders.

Another thing I'd need to remind myself is that being in the same situation for 9 years doesn't mean you have to stay that way forever. There's this facebook group that is particularly apt in describing how I feel. I can't remember the exact words now but the gist of it is "Don't make someone your priority when you are just an option." I need to remember that and practice it. =)

Bitch

Hmmm..... how do I renege on a promise made? Should I give an excuse? Or should I just say I've changed my mind? I really don't want to waste my time. =_=

Oops! I'm not interested....

I sort of realised this theory a while back. It might not be a revelation or anything but this simple fact governs most any human relations.

Interest is reciprocal in nature. Those people who are nice and really interested in the lives of people around them have the liking of these people. These people are generally popular and well-liked. To be liked by people, you have to like them first. I don't like most people much.

Like most emotions and relations, interest's a tit for tat sort of thing. You're interested in what I'm saying and therefore, I'm interested in your life.

Me... I'm simply not interested in a lot of things and to expect me to pretend to show interest is excruciating. When someone is going on and on about some stupid shit or when I read something nonsensical and redundant, my eyes just glaze over and I'm playing tennis with my imaginary friend in the clouds. That being said, I do have self-awareness, I'm not the most interesting person in the universe or anything where even close to it. To be fair, if I'm not interested in you or anything you have to say, I don't expect you to pay attention to me. I don't blame you if you're not interested in my stuff. So if I have no reaction, I'm sincerely NOT interested. Nothing personal there... much. Looking at it in another angle, if I express interest, I'm really interested. No faking there. Just a random rant coz some people really think that they're god's gifts to others. =_=

=)

Here's a great big thank you for all the fabulous people wishing me happy birthday via twitter, smses, facebook, phonecalls and even e-mails! Though most of you would never read this post or even come across this blog, you're all much appreciated!

Thanks guys! =)

23rd - 24th Jan 2010

And so, I turned 28 today.

But the weekend was fun! Ok, to be honest, friday wasn't great. There was this ridiculous seminar that took all day and masters class that took up 1/2 my night. =_=

Saturday started off on a good note! Had lunch with the family and my bro and sis-in-law gave me a big ang bao! hehe.... Present from Mum was collected last month... hehehe... it was a great present too! Younger bro was stingy (keke) and gave me only an arm band for iphone but it is still much appreciated!

Met up with D and J for our planned weekend out! Had a room at Meritus Mandarin along Orchard Rd!

The room was nice! =) But what mattered the most was the company which was fantastic! The room number was 1024! Which was coincidentally the same numbers as my birthday! And so, we tried to buy 4D but alas, it was too late to buy for Saturday when we thought of it.

We spent lots of time just walking around orchard and buying lots of snacks and other assorted stuff! Bak Kua, cookies, donuts, face masks etc etc! J introduced the red bean donut and it was fabulous!!! I was sad that I forgot to buy some for Monday's breakfast when I left orchard today!

Our snacks and other assorted stuff as seen above!

Besides the free hotel stay, I got a nice camera strap for my little DSLR! I love it lah! We went for dinner, went back to the room to put down stuff and sat through a lousy movie with a hot actor. Legion.... hmmm.... wait for the DVD.

Me and J playing around with photobooth in my macbook!

After which, we spent our time watching You are Beautiful on my laptop and marveled at Hongki's cuteness and JGS's charisma into the wee hours of the night. Haha... that is, after we put on the masks we bought earlier on.

Next morning, we cam-whored a bit before walking over to the Hereen's for a leisurely Mac's breakfast. The morning was relaxing and stress-free! I wished we could have had the room for a much longer period of time! Haha... though I know the bill will also be super high! hahaha....

D went back, supposedly to do some work but ended up watching You're Beautiful. Hehe... while me and J walked about more and shopped for DVDs before heading over to IMM for more shopping and coffee and to purchase F.T. Island Fan-meeting ticket!!

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend and one I'd remember for a long time to come! =)

Drained

Maybe I'm getting old. I feel really tired since work started this year. Sapped of all energy... but on a good note, I do like my classes this year. But then, that's hardly surprising... I've always liked the kids.... well, except for some of the idiots in 2006. Since then, they've all been great kids and a joy to have in class... sometimes.

This year... it's the year my kids graduate.... the secondary ones who came in when I did. I remembered them in 2007 when they were fresh secondary ones... and now they're in secondary four and will graduate at the end of this year. I wonder if I should graduate with them. haha... it'll be a good end to a good period of time.

That said, I'll still have to be with the dark towers of education... since Bhai girl will kill me if I break bond. =P

I'm hungry but am too lazy and resentful to cook anything to eat. hahaha....

2010

And so, I spent my new years' eve at home with my mum and brother. A quiet evening to be sure but strangely peaceful. I guess I'm too old to go counting down at some random and meaningless place with nameless crowds. I just don't have the energy anymore for this sort of stuff, not that I love doing em so much when I was younger... the millennium countdown at suntec was a horrible memory nearly a decade after it happened. haha...

I thought it apt that the first post of the year should contain notes on things I'm thankful for in 2009.

• My family -am grateful that they're healthy and happy and still with me. Though Tita and Toby are no longer around. I do hope that Tita will come back to us soon!
• My work has been all right this year round. Nothing huge happened and I guess I ought to be grateful for that.
• My kids were and still are wonderful! And I'm especially happy that some of my ex-students still bothered to keep in touch with me. Am especially happy when I get msgs from them or when I see them.
• My colleagues (now minus more than a few) were so important to me in school. I don't think I'll be able to get by with them to bitch to when something bad cropped up in school.
• My friends -last but definitely not the least. But of course! Some more important than others. I rank my friends remember? hahaha.... but in no particular order....

J for being indispensable. For listening to me whine and bearing with my faults, for being funny and ridiculous when I needed to laugh, for offering great advices and smart insights whenever I needed them. For being understanding when I needed my space and for all the great times spent together!
C for hanging around even though I'm not such a good friend sometimes. For being understanding and patient even though my temper gets the better of me sometimes. For making the effort to keep in touch when I'm such a bum.

D for all the rides you give without expecting anything in return. For dropping by unexpectedly just for a random chat. For pushing me to gym even though I would rather bum at home. For fetching me to ubi and pushing me to sign up for a driving course.

R for being there for me to bitch to when I needed a listening ear. For being an evil shopping fairy and for being a bad influence! LOL! But seriously, for being such a great friend that even though we don't meet up much, things remain cool!
N for giving us a sweet god-daughter to dote on! For the N-express (that one and only time). For being there with R for me to bitch to even though you're a busy working mummy now.
L for agreeing with all my bitchy complaints and never letting me feel that I'm weird or evil coz you're even more weird and evil than me! hahaha.... For being there (not so much this year) to accompany me to PP or East Coast when I'm damn bored! For letting me crash at your place and making me breakfast on top of it!
P for the friendship, support and companionship that didn't come at any price. For letting me crash at your place (this applies to L too!!) and making me masala tea and milo! For your trust when you signed as the guarantor for my bond! I promise to study hard!
B for your nonsense. For your crazy loud "Boonzzzz!! wanna go for coffee!" in the staffroom. For your crazy comments that cracked me up even though you're no longer here. For the crazy makan and KTV sessions.
S for the rides to Masters classes every week, for the powerpoints that saved my life more than once! For the friendship and support in the staffroom!
S for letting us make fun of you and not get angry much! For the laughter and craziness that you inspire. For the companionship and support in the staffroom! For letting me tag along to your movie date with your friend! hehe... for all the bitching and gossiping and crazy KTV sessions!

G, F and KK for being great friends and meeting up with us despite not being "there" anymore. You lucky things you!

At the start of a new year, I asked myself. Why am I in this profession when I can't stand the administrative work and the additional duties, not to mention the occasional and more than occasional wayang we have to do? Would I want to try something else? Why am I still hanging around? The bond is one reason of course (don't worry bhai, I'll study hard and not break my bond!) the other reason would be that the kids make me happy. I smile when I see them. Well... most of them anyway. =P

Europe 2009

Italy

Vatican City

Colosseum

Streets of Rome

Pisa

Venice

Austria

Switzerland

Germany(just passing thru)

Amsterdam

Paris

London

My pig-rabbit doll!

Hahaha... just thought I'd post a picture of the pig-rabbit doll J got for me for Christmas! I know its horribly overpriced and technically useless but I still love it! Thanks hon! =)

Europe pics will be up soon when I can find more time. Thing bout social networks like facebook is that its distracting me from my blog and such. *sigh* I need to get started on my photo album soon. =P

Because I can't blog on my iphone....

yesterday night I had something to say... now it's sort of jumbled up. I'll try to reconstruct my thoughts. Hmmm... where to start? Argh... But at this moment in time, it didn't seem so important now. It's enough that I'm feeling happy at the moment. It's not really that great a happiness, I remembered I was feeling really irritated last night before I got the text from J! J bought me the pig-rabbit plushie!!!! LOL! That really perked me up! Thanks hon! And L is home from Brisbane! We'll get to go blading at east coast and manicures at parkway again when I'm back from europe! Life is pretty good with fantastic friends and a holiday to look forward to. =)

Farewell!

And so, it's the end of an 'era' so to speak...

Our table... well most of us, the macik helped us to take the picture so she's not in it, or was it Sarene? Hmmm....

The guys at our table.

The five of us again! haha... no one left yet!

Managed to convince the shinanator to pose for a shot!

Me and Shin

Us with our lady boss, not to be confused with the big boss!

With the out-going 'boss' who was seriously kind to us... the new one don't seem so kind....

Shin with Sarene

Me and Sarene