Cambodia and Back!

Cambodia's really something else! I'm not really much of a writer so I'd upload lots of pictures instead. =)

Cambodia -Siam Reap
The SUN was scorching!!! I think my skin cells died en masse the first day there. Singapore sunblock was no match against Cambodian sun. T_T But it's really a beautiful country. Simple yet beautiful.



Hotel looked nice but wasn't too good in my opinion. Well, we can't expect much from a 3* hotel... and I'm a brat.... *shrugs*


After an extremely hot and sweaty walk, bout 30 mins or so (instigated by miss backpacker of the year -loser tan), we reached the central mkt in Siam Reap. Usual tourist stuff, nothing much to buy there because I didn't want to spend my money on the first day.


The two crazy but adorable girls with me! The Bhai girl and Loser Tan.

Angkor Wat and other assorted temples....



Alrighty... we visited so many temples that day it made my head spin. Honest. I loved it.... to an extent. It was certainly impressive to say the least. But the restoration of the place wasn't done too well... the tourists were the hazards! Hmm... I'm certainly guilty of it too.


Beautiful isn't it?






Absolutely love these carvings... impressive for 12th century craftsmen.


The three of us... note the difference in height.... *sigh*


We went up the center of Bayon Temple. And because I suggested going up, when the time came for us to get down, I was the first one down. It sure was a long way down... =_=


But the highlight was this one! Much higher then the previous one...this one was in the middle of Angkor Wat itself and Loser Tan risked her life to take our picture! Haha...


Me and Loser Tan




The view from above was fantastic....well worth the climb...


The climb down was no joke. The tourists were soooooooo afraid... but the locals are experts I tell you. The old uncles and aunties seemed to "run" down those steps! Mothers carrying little kids can go down faster than us.... haha... Bhai girl had to ask the extremely old uncle after her to slow down quite a few times. hahaha...

Phnom Penh-Took a domestic flight to Phnom Penh


Visited the Genocide Museum Tuol Sleng, formerly known as the Khmer Rouge S21 Prison, in Phnom Penh. Extremely depressing place.



It was formerly a high school. Under the K.R, many schools, hospitals, even temples were converted into prisons.


Regulations at the prison... translated into english... it's fucking insane lah!


Picture of guy being tortured, chained to the bed.


Blk C -The only block with the barbed wire still intact. To prevent prisoners from committing suicide. Truly sickening.


5-6 men will fit into one of these tiny cells....


Women's cells were on the second floor, made of wood instead.


Pictures of the victims


Some of them merely children.


The Khmer Rouge. I simply don't understand how they can do this to their own people. It's truely abhorrent.


The prisoners in S21 were tortured and when they "confessed", they were sent to the killing field. It's a classic case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you confess, you'll be taken to the killing fields. If you don't, they'll torture you to death. Bloody hell!


The Khmer Rouge, like the Japanese soldiers, would fling the children against the tree to kill them before flinging them into the mass grave at the side. argh...


The sugar palm tree. The Khmer Rouge used the sharp edges of the tree to cut the throats of the victims. *shivers*


The skulls of the victims...


This is actually quite disturbing. Our guide told us that we're actually walking on some of the bones of the victims. Everytime it rains, more clothes and bones of the victims will be discovered. All these will be collected in a pile next to a tree. Every month, people will take this pile of clothes and bones and cremate them. We were real careful about where we stepped after we heard this.

After that. lunch was a depressing affair. The sheer amount of beggers on the street was astonishing and sad. It'd been said that on the average, 2 Cambodians stepped on mines everyday and when you see someone without arms, legs or fingers because of these mines, one can't help but feel that the impact of the Khmer Rouge is truly far-reaching. if only that old bitch Pol Pot never existed all these suffering might not have occurred.


A place of fond memories... spent the bulk of my money there.=_=
It was here that we returned to after miss "backpacker of the year"'s backpack was snatched away while we were on the tuktuk. The tuktuk driver tried to give chase. To his credit, he really tried.... but the combined weight of the tuktuk and 3 not so small women inside didn't really help. Oh well, nothing important was lost and it was a cheap backpack from central market anyways. Not much loss... the important thing was we were all right. =)


At the airport.... too early to check in....


The famous yellow backpack. 2nd generation....


Loser tan annoyed me with one too many comments bout my photography skills.... so i took off her head. hahahahaha...


Last meal in Cambodia... with a not so nice brownie. haha...

Home sweet home....

The one mitigating factor in school...

I guess I'm thankful for small favours in life. It could have been worse but it's not. Thanks to these adorable people...


Chilling out at the Irish pub at east coast after seafood dinner. Bloody expensive dinner but the company was good.



As stated in the Shin-ster's blog... from the same junior college to the same secondary school to teach... no wonder we get along so well. hahaha... these are my favourite girls in school!



So bored were we that we started taking nonsense pictures... as seen from the above pic. =_=



The Gong-gong dragon team! hehehe... we might not have been the best rowers this time round. But we'll do better next year! =)


Oh ya... I was looking through the pics and came across this one... hehee... I think I like Loser tan's irritated expression. =P


But my fav is still this one. I think we look sufficiently spaz...correction. Beng looks spaz. I'm cute. wahahahahahaha...

Nostalgia

There's still bout 20 minutes to go before I have to leave the house for dragon-boat. Through a link on another friend's blog, I came across this blog by a junior of mine. In her blog, she wrote about friends leaving and how she's the only girl of her batch left, how training's not the same when your batchmates leave one by one and soon there's no one left etc etc. It sort of reminded me of myself back then. I think I felt the same way when my batch withered down to just the 3 of us. I guess I was luckier. I had er jie, fendy, ZX, uncle wengkeong, all these wonderful seniors to fall back on. I'm not so sure of her batch though. I hope they'll have as strong a support group among their seniors. Training is definitely not about friends... but it sure is discouraging when you're the only one left.

Tons of things to do... and miles to go before I rest...

It's truly sickening when it's the bloody holidays and I don't seem to have much free time to just chill out and do nothing.
1)Extra lessons to prepare for my classes
2)2 weeks of extra lessons
3)Sec 2 Camp (ok... this one doesn't really count... i was just being a busybody. hehe)
4)Meeting up with my cadets to drill them for the inter-unit quiz
5)Marking extra assignments
6)Collecting and checking files
7)Filling up forms for I don't know what....
8)Sec 1 Camp (settle food, firewood etc etc)
9)Up-coming Johore trip with the Sec 4s
10)Find out about ticket prices for Sec 4 fieldtrip in term 3

Oh ya... there's the dragon-boating on Sat as well... hehe... Go TP Dragons!

I wonder how can I squeeze time in for my Hindi movies and blading... sigh...

The arrogance of some people never cease to amaze me...

Anyways, I was blog surfing as usual and went to this blog that I went to quite regularly. He's quite funny lah and the stuff he talks about is quite relevant to my line of work. haha... I'd admit that sometimes I don't quite buy his way of thinking and sometimes I find that he moralises too much for my liking. I mean, shit happens, deal with it. But I guess blogging is his way of letting off steam and who am I to criticise.

The arrogance that I found distasteful was not his. It's from this comment on his blog on a particular issue of how parents abused the privilege of writing parents' letters. This guy actually criticised the profession as a whole and claimed that we are "fools". Well, apart from the spelling and grammatical errors, his comment is really quite irritating to read. I won't nit-pick because my own language abilities is not top-notch in the least. And well, I won't say it had not affected me because it did. But what amazed me was the sheer narrow-mindedness, short-sightedness and selfishness of it all. That someone holding that point of view actually exists and could very well be the parent or the future parent of a kid.

"Actally, a child should make the final say on his outcome of his educaztion. After that, its the parents. You teachers should not have the right to decide the wrong from the right, the morally ethical to the unethical and above all u should never get to decide if the event is compulsory."

This paragraph seriously cracked me up! I was really laughing my ass off when I read it. I mean... hehehehe... he's seriously delusional. But since he's entitled to his own opinion, I'd say... I'm really glad I'm not teaching his kids or him for that matter. And I do wonder how well people with that kind of thinking will live in this society.

"And dont glamorize teacher. Nothing great about it. Alot of people can do that too. Hell, a fellow classmate usually does a better job explaining a concept than an NIE trained teacher."

Actually, I do agree with this sentence. We're not saints. It's a bloody job. We teach, we get paid. If we care, it's a by-product. There are good teachers out there and there are lousy ones. Bloody fact of life. Let's not generalise too much. But I would also say to this seriously fucked up idiot not to send his kids to school to be educated by teachers in the future. Try home-schooling if he's so great. =P It'll save us a whole lot of trouble this way.

In kimchi's honour....

Haha... my darling kimchi accused me of never updating my blog. So, this pointless blogpost would be in kimchi's honour. There! Hope you are satisfied. =P

Got to go and mark some more scripts before meeting J for makan. Ciao peeps! =)

Something interesting on BBC...Banksy!

Heh. Was doing some random surfing on the BBC and came across this very interesting guerrilla artist -Banksy. Went through his website and and saw some of his works. Must say that I was kinda impressed. Maybe I'll use some of his works as inference practice for my kids. Maybe they'll be more interested if it's something non-history but still meaningful in a way. *sigh*













Interesting stuff I must say. Hehe... especially like his tongue-in-cheek style. =)
His work made me smile... and made me think a bit. =) I think that's how I decide if I like an artist or not.

just random ramblings....

昨晚我做了一个梦。醒来后也都什么也记不得了。 留下的只有莫名的感伤和遗憾。 记忆就好比幻影。隐约看的到，升手想去触摸，却什么也摸不着。我觉得我真的老了。不再拥有无穷的精力， 也不再拥有那少女般的憧憬。 只甚下虚荣和疲累的心灵。看這那群十六，七歲的孩子，真想回到那時。現在回想起來，還是念書的日子來得輕鬆。不過，想想也就是這樣，人生也不過這幾十年，做人也不用太過執著。日子過去了，就讓它過去吧。

用汉字来写网落日记实在是一项坚难的任务！ 我的文筆本來就不是很好，再加上没用华文來寫作文已有十之八九年之久。 短短的几行字就花了我差不多半小时的时间。 真要命！>_<

Well, on a lighter note, I tried foot reflexology for the very first time!! Under the encouragement of the crazy bahyi girl and shin-ster. It was an experience to say the least. J, next time I’ll bring you to try it out k! We must suffer, I mean enjoy this experience together! =)

Bitten by the skating bug recently... Went with J on Sat and Nat and Gerie +hubby today. That's like twice a week! *feels accomplished* Resolution to self! Must learn how to stop without crashing into people or things! Heh.

Okie... enough escaping... must go back to making notes for my kids. argh...

Carnival day and misc stuff...

Well, carnival day passed without a hitch and it was really rather fun despite the scorching sun. =_= My kids were sweet despite them being slightly late, we managed to handle the stuff pretty well I would say. Heh. The credit goes to them lah, not me. I just went around buying stuff and taking pictures. We took loads of pictures and my idiot colleagues were hilarious. I don't know what school would be like without them. Hehe...
My newest buddies. hahaha...

Then, it's off to Arab street with N and P for some good food, and off to Mr and Mrs Ho's wedding at RTC, where everyone dressed up except me and Ra. =_= But it was fun to see all our history classmates again. It's a mini NUS/NIE reunion in fact. We just couldn't resist talking shop when we see each other.
I just love these people... my buddies for the past few years.

Today was the start of the MYE and it was so tiring... I believed that it was hard for me to be so quiet for so long... coz I cannot talk during exams mah. T_T Then I finally had something to do for PMC. And because I didn't want to do it alone, I dragged Ah Beng along to patrol the blocks. The sun was fucking hot lah, and we were both wearing black. We nearly died. =_= But lucky he came along... if not I'd have died of boredom.

A Friday afternoon free!! Without remedial and CCA... it's just such a rare occasion... but then... the rain refuse to stop and I can't step out of the bloody school... arghhhhhhhh.......

Saizou strained her back... T_T

T_T

Bright sunny saturday and I just have to strain my back. Now, I can't go out and on top of that, I have to blow 75 bucks on an MC for today because I was supposed to go for a seminar in town. It's just such a tragedy!! Now I'm facing a dilemma... should I or shouldn't I go to school on monday? I do have an MC, but monday is such a light day! I'll be giving tests for most of my periods.... so it shouldn't be too bad... sigh... dilemma dilemma.... I'll just have to see how i feel on sunday i guess. =_=

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......I wanna go out and shop!! I wanna go out and spend money!! T_T

fucking irritated... =_=

Mass Run and misc stuff...

Well, first and foremost, PB's in! Woohoo! That's like the highlight of the month! *Grinz* It's not a lot but any extra money is GOOD money in my point of view. =)

Heh, the Shin-ster just sent me a few pics that me and my fav gals took after sports day last term. Thought they were pretty well taken to say the least. Of course it helps that we were all ahem.... so good looking! hahahahahaha... okie, maybe not. It helps that the majority of the people in the pic are cute.

The Shin-ster is the one taking the pic... you can sort of see her reflection in the mirrors above us. hahahaha...If you look hard enough...



And special thanks to the shin-ster for helping me do major facial reconstruction on my darling C.K.Kong. =) He looks much improved now. My cadets are grateful as well, we think it adds character to his face. Wahahahaha....














Today was Mass Run.... pretty uneventful except my class won 1st prize for class identity even though bout 1/3 of the class didn't turn up, and even though our theme was damn corny. But apparently, the judges bought it. =_= And so, we won for ourselves 80 dollars worth of delifrance vouchers. I foresee a lot of bread in the near future. I would post some of the pics up but i got to get them from ah beng first. =) Went out with the gang after the whole event and managed to blow a big part of my not so significant PB. T_T But it was fun lah...

Oh by the way nat(asha), I bought u something. =) Pass to ya next time I see you!

edit: Well, apparently, we didn't win 1st. T_T my kid took the wrong prize when he went up. ahhahahahaahha... we got 2nd instead. Wah lau....

*wails* it's over!!!

And so, my one week of "bliss" is over. Thinking bout it now, it's not that "blissful" anyway. Didn't get much of a chance to really rest up. It's work, work and more work everyday of the week. Today I even had to accompany my cadets for their course at HQ. Talked about 5 day work week my ass... but it was kinda all right. I managed to get a lot of stuff done in the time I was there and my cadets were adorable. Plus they had a rather cute medic there as eye candy. Hahaha...

ahhhhhh.... i have papers to be set and answer schemes to come up with. So many things to do and all I seem to do nowadays is complain and complain. Maybe it's time to ask myself what the hell am I going to DO with all this shit. =_=

Maybe I ought to start with staying home/school (what's the difference anymore) more to do more work. =_=

1 week of bliss!

Heh. It's going to be 1 whole week of bliss! I'm determined to enjoy this holiday! No thoughts of work to mar this perfect week even though I do have to go back to school for camp and work and courses. But still, it won't be 12 hour shifts like during term time. =P

Friday was awful! Things probably cannot get any worse than that. Besides having to rush out the kids' progress report, data entry (redundant shit), I have to deal with my CCA and in-focus. Really sucks. On top of that, a fight nearly broke out in my class during my period today. =_= Stupid me tried to step between the two guys. And they are so tall that they didn't really see me even though I was between them. =_= Really stupid now on hindsight. I could have gotten punched! But luckily, I managed to grab one of them (by his collar... haha) and get him to sit down. Fights in my class is really nothing new, but it's the first time I was actually there. Lucky it's defused in the end. I think we should go for anger management workshop as a class. I think I have the same problem too.

But my anger was slightly defused when later in the night over msn, one of them said that he got so angry because the other guy was showing me attitude. haha... so sweet right? I think I'm susceptible to this kinda remarks. Though it could be just an excuse. Hahaha...

Argh... I'm having a monster headache... think I'm off to rest. sigh...

BTW, ra, I'm so NOT going to do the tagged thing! hahahaahaaha....

Holidays!!

March holidays are coming up! Yipee!!!

I was counting down to this holiday since the end of the CNY weekend. Hahahaha... the kids are really rather good this past few weeks but I was feeling burnt out. The endless and redundent admin work is wearing me down. I want to teach... I don't want to be be a clerk. If I want to be a clerk, I'd go for office work instead. =_=

It's been an eventful week to say the least. Lessons are only so-so and I don't quite blame the kids. Things will get better when the exams are nearer. Oh ya! I got my first "marriage proposal" a few days ago. One of my fav kid ask me to wait 5 years for him. I thought it was rather funny and sweet though I know it wasn't serious. Seriously, 5 years is a long time to wait lah.... and I prefer rich, old men. So I told him no. =) My silly kids are adorable... as usual. i think i will miss them when they graduate end of this year.

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day! But it'll be over before long and the weekend will be here again! Counting down to the next holiday is how most of us cope with all this rubbish. =_=

Traumatised!

Was looking to kill some time on a lazy Sunday afternoon... so I was at the forum dedicated to the sacred profession. Man... it's freaking scary lah! It made me wonder why on earth did I ever sign on the dotted line?? the worse thing is, I can fully empathise with whatever was written in the forum!! Especially on the issue of discipline... or the lack there of. *shudders*

I haven't been in the profession long but even I can see the problems and the "powers that be" are wondering why so many of us are escaping once the bond is up. Hahaha... coughMORONScough...

But on the other hand, the kids can be real adorable when they want to be. *shrugs* Got to take the good times with the bad i supposed. =P

oh well...

one of my fav politician is being sued for graft. so sad... i know there's no such thing as a 100% honest politician... but i do hope that he's innocent. =)

Went for a course for BT today and saw lots of old friends. Esp SZ. but apparently, the whole lot of them went for a different course so we didn't get to talk at all. T_T. i miss them quite a bit lah. but the mainpoint was, the lot of us (N excluded), actually went off half-way during the course! we're starting to act like our kids. =_= but i'll have to say that it was rather exciting coz for a moment in time, i thought that the admin lady was going to come after us. =_= but that bloody JS's NATO lah- No Action, Talk Only. Talked so much bout leaving but in the end, it's the girls that left instead. i swear it's got to do with the school culture. perhaps people at DH don't do this kinda things. hahaha...

tomorrow will be a good day! =)

DEADLINES

hahahaha... my bro showed me this site and this particular cartoon just speaks to something in me. Many a times I've felt exactly the same.

The end of the week is coming! woohoo!!

I'm feeling slightly happier now that the week is coming to an end. Hehe. It helps that the kids have been very sweet(though a little weird) on msn yesterday and the class is very responsive today, though I think it's because of the chocolates I gave out as bribes. =_= If my sec 4s will be motivated, I really don't mind buying them chocolates everyday!

I think I like Thursdays. =)

Feeling a little down...

School's not all that great. Expectations are a little higher than reality. But I guess that's the case more often than not. *shrugs* Nothing to be done bout that I suppose. I could learn to care less bout them or I could try harder. I honestly don't know which way I would go but both ways are equally tough. They are mostly nice kids... and I can't seem to harden my heart and just give up. Sometimes they really disappoint me. What I really can't stand is their negative attitude. How they (or at least some of them) would just give up without even trying. It pisses me off more than anything else. Why should I try so hard for you when you've already given up on yourself? But then miraculously, they'll do something really impressive/sweet/touching, then the anger will be gone.

Off-topic...J will be off for a week to our friendly neighbouring country for work. Gone is my makan/bitching/bak kwa queuing buddy. T_T I guess there'll be no bak kwa queuing this year. Gone are the days when we have the time and leisure to queue (like obasans) for bak kwa during CNY. Luckily, there's something called the delivery service. =)

Ps: I fucking hate tuesdays... T_T

Routine

Mid-January now... life's been preoccupied with school. *sigh* Kendo and my social life all took a backseat to work recently. After all, graduating classes are no joke. I'm so worried about them. Because I really like these kids. They are all sweet kids despite their "ah bengish" exterior.

Social-life is almost non-existent. But I'm generally closer to my colleagues. They're really interesting people. Life in school is fun because of them... and to some parts because of the kids.

Asstea entered me for Youth Tourney. I'm so not prepared lah. But it's my own fault. I haven't been training since Kendo Camp last year. Think I'm gonna be slaughtered this time round. Even ZX msged to tell me not to enter unprepared. I seriously hate to disappoint my seniors. Especially ZX, since he was my Captain last time. I don't understand where my commitment to kendo went. I'm a lazy bum lah. Let me take it one training at a time, starting tomorrow.

Back to school madness...

Long day today. Went back for staff meeting today. Wah. It was good meeting all my friends again but the meeting was another matter altogether. =_= Overall, I can feel the slow madness of school starting... arghhhh....the timetable's out, and everything's starting to pile up! And my table's not clear of this year's stuff yet! ahhhhhhh.......

Madness...

T_T

Peaceful Christmas Eve

Met up with old friends today. 11 years since we've known each other. Time really flies. Realised how much I've changed and at the same time not change since my secondary school days. Realised that we've aged as well. Haha... inevitable I guess. T_T Also realised that we're at different stages of life. They're discussing marriage... as in seriously discussing when and where etc and it's still such a foreign concept to me. I just can't imagine myself doing it in the next 5 years or so. Talked bout the OBC coz one of them went through the course with me. Missed my squadmates. Well, some of them at least... =P

It was good to catch up with them and Christmas is meant to be spent with good company, not squeezing with the disgusting people in orchard or any other crowded places. Just the thought of being in the Christmas crowd at public places is enough to make me cringe in disgust. So ya. This year's Christmas Eve is the quietest i've ever spent... but also one of the more relaxing and peaceful ones in recent years. =)

The dreaded course that turned out to be not so dreadful in the end...

Heh. For all the whining I've done about "the course", I'd actually enjoyed it lots! I've learnt things I'd never have thought I'd learn in my life, had the experience of overcoming my fear, and knowing some of the most amazing people (some are not so amazing...) through the course of these 3 weeks. I wouldn't say that I'm a full convert, but I've began to see the allure of uniformed groups. The things you learn, the experiences you experience, even the bonding between squadmates... These are the stuff you can't find anywhere else. Even though this course ate up a significant part of my precious holidays, it's still worth it. I do yearn to be free from the course at times, but now that it's over, I feel kinda sad. But still, I'm left with a new found respect for my CCA now.


Went into the "Furnace". The flames were beautiful.... But super scary lah. Still, it's one of the more interesting experiences during the course...


After "attempting" to put out a fire (which cannot be put out coz it was remote controlled), me and my act-cute buddy decided to pose for the camera. Hahaha...


here's my squad, all dressed up in hazmat suits, marching merrily along to the "gas chambers".


Here's us again after experiencing the effects of tear gas without the protection of the suits. With the suits on, we really couldn't feel any effects. But we were made to remove some parts of the suits and to take off our masks at some point of time and that's when the effect really hits us. Woah... Not a pleasant experience... but definitely interesting to say the least...

Phew...

Exciting day today... Not good for my mental health. Thank god for the great people in school!! Like shan, shin and dom! wah... rushing out work review on the deadline itself is no joke! I nearly died... T_T but it's all over and done with! And I have no lessons tomorrow~ yipee!!!

Speaking of lessons... Things hasn't been going too well. =_= The attendance is dismal and frankly speaking I don't blame them (too much). If I were a student, I wouldn't want to come back to school for extra lessons anyways. But still, it's hard for me to continue with lessons at this rate. And I do realised that I've been rather harsh on the kids recently. Sigh... Maybe I'm taking out some of my frustrations on them.

Note to self: Must not do that anymore... Must be fair to them... =_=

Roar!!!

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow!!! T_T Oh why can't I still be a student... Then I can go to school and stone out. But I can't! coz I got to teach!!! *cries*

spent the weekend rotting at home... coz I have no money left. But it feels good to rot at home. *shrugs* maybe I'm a natural bummer. haha.

fuck! I hate planning lessons!! Especially after the fucking exams!! FUCK!!!!!

okies... done venting... back to work. =_=

Post exams syndrome

I think I'm eating too much. There's just nothing much for me to do... Except eat that is. =_= actually, I do have work to do. Just that it's not so urgent nowadays. All the stress of marking, the horrid promotion exercise, even the bulk of post-exams activities are over and done with. Even the fieldtrip out with my form class was fun. Embarrassing but fun. In fact, the past week has been pretty relaxing. Spent it catching up with old pals over dinner and going for training. I want to make it for training at least once a week from now on. Excluding the period of my 3 weeks course of course. T_T man... I want to weep at the thought of the course. T_T

okays... Got to go back to writing remarks for my kids. Man... It's so tough to think up different positive stuff to say bout each of them. Now I understand the pain of my old form teachers. And that having a "bubbly disposition" (something I've always gotten in my report books) is merely an euphemism for being talkative and loud. =_=

Marking Season...

It's the marking season now and things are crazy... I think the amount of marking I have to do is horrid to say the least... all essays!!! I hate reading lousy essays... they put me in a foul mood. Add in the fact that my wisdom tooth is acting up and I have a new series of books to read is enough to drive me nuts! All I can think about are my books! Now I have to resort to "rewarding" myself with a few chapters when I've finished marking certain classes. =_=

I feel so restricted!!! And I so dread the impending visit to the dentist... mainly because of the cost involved... =_=

Similarities...

I came across this article called "Changing Russia" on the BBC website
a while ago, and was struck by its similarities with our tiny little island state.

I met one old man, a veteran of the siege of Leningrad, hanging around outside a shop in St Petersburg where I had just bought a razor and pack of blades which cost more than a Russian pensioner's basic income.
Now you could not quite say he was begging - he was selling packets of old-fashioned cigarettes which still come in their Soviet-era packaging at slightly inflated prices.
He had seen the same thing done by the sharp young men who run stalls in tourist flea-markets and he had copied the idea for himself - another little victory for market economics.
I bought a couple of packs and we stood chatting for a while as the evening sun smoothed the ripples off the Gulf of Finland behind us and left it looking like a sheet of beaten steel.
On my journey back to my beachfront hotel I found myself threading my way through a car park filled with Mercedes and BMWs and even the odd Bentley.
Clearly Russia's spectacular transition has created winners as well as losers.

Doesn't it just reminds you of the old aunties and uncles selling tissue in the middle of Orchard Road?

Nothing much happened this week but...

it's also not quite accurate to say that nothing happened. I finally cleared the third and last (for now) of the BT courses assigned to us by the powers at the 'dark tower' today. Although the courses were basically a bloody waste of time, and the trainers were pretty boring, it was nice making new friends and seeing old friends at these courses. It was fun trading stories about the kids and the different cultures in different schools. What's more fun was to be able to act like students once more. The class was not well-behaved at all, which was kinda an irony coz the course was on classroom management. =_= I think some of us were even modelling the more unsavory behaviour of our students. Even JS (one of my old mates at nie) thinks that the trainer today has (in his words) "condemned" us in her "little black book" for being "bad students". Hahaha... that guy ah! Super funny when he wants to be, telling us stories bout how he "terrorised" his kids at CND and DH. We were singing the stupid buffulo song near the end of the course (it's not part of the course though but we were really really BORED) and till now, I still can't get the bloody tune out of my head. Arghhhh... it's driving me nuts!

On to other news, it's the last quiet week I'll have for quite a long time to come. The papers will be coming in starting next monday and I'm kinda nervous over the results of my kids. I really hope they'll be able to do well for the paper. Well, if not well, that they would be able to do it at the very least, and I hope that it wouldn't put them off the subject. One reason I resent the BT courses so much was because it took my time away from school so near the exams! I can't even arrange extra lessons for the kids who want them. Sigh... it's all up to them now since the paper is on monday. PLEASE STUDY!!! *prays*

T_T

Made a huge mistake at work recently. It's all because I was too careless... =_= the amount of work to be done to rectify the mistake is humongous! But it’s done at long last!!

At times like these, I’m really grateful for all the understanding, fantastic and supportive friends and colleagues I have. To help someone when you're free is a nice thing to do but to help someone when you're swamped with your own work is truly exceptional. Thanks auntie keong for helping me with the paper and giving me constructive opinions! I really appreciate it. =)

J, thanks for listening to me whine bout my own mistake. =) I really needed to vent bout it.

Can't Cry Hard Enough

No... I'm not depressed or anything...

I just heard this song over the radio and it got me thinking bout my year one days when I walked home from the mrt station after training (with the huge and heavy bougu), listening to this song on my discman (back in the era before my ipod). They may be "primitive", but those were good days! I've not heard this song for ages! Ever since I lost the CD with a long time back. Even though it's a rather depressing song, it sure as hell brings back good memories.

Ahhh... I want to be a student again. Oh what would I give to be able to sleep in lectures, eat in class, or having the liberty to skip lessons just coz I don't feel like going once again. hahaha....

Perspective is really a scary thing. The things I've just listed happens to be the very things I scold my kids for, every bloody single day! =P

Tomorrow is Wednesday and the week will be over soon!!! I sure hope I can make it down for training on Thursday. *crossing my fingers* =P

Constricted

Been feeling a little tight around the chest these days. And no... It's not because I've been eating too much or anything. It's just a feeling of being restrained, enclosed. It's pretty weird because I've just got to know my colleagues better these days with all the gossiping in the staffroom and the dragonboat training and what nots. And yet, I still feel closed in. It's like my life revolves around school and nothing but school.

I miss kendo and life in general. =_=

It's over...

And thus, the much awaited and longed for holidays are over. I'm not looking forward to the year-end holidays coz I've got to go for a 3 weeks course. T_T

Honestly, the holidays just flew by me. I mean... Suddenly it's Sunday once more and school starts tomorrow. T_T I'm sure many of the kids feel the same way I do. But misery shared doesn't make it better. T_T

I used to think that I like going for courses and missing class... But after a while, I realised that it's just not worth it. The amount of "catch up" one has to do is horrendous. Missing classes is just not worth that shit. I'll be on course for 2 days this coming week and I'm already dreading the amount of time wasted and work to be done the subsequent week. arghhhhhhhh........

Ahhh... The amount of work to be done today is mountainous... But I feel like lazing the whole day... decisions decisions....=_=

Ahhhhhh........The week's half gone!!! What on earth happened to it??!!!

T_T

It's Wednesday. The week's half gone.... and not much work had been done. ahhhh... I'm so inefficient. =_=

Today I held my first extra lesson in the hols and only 15 turned up. While I'm happy these 15 turned up... I'm kinda sad that the rest didn't. =_= I'm sort of comforted that some (the "naughty" ones) came especially for my class and actually attempted to pay attention. But overall, it can be counted as a flop lah. =_=

Moral of the story... Don't be too ambitious or too positive... Murphy's Law almost always holds true.

But I like those kids a lot... I also don't know why. hahahaha....

The end of a guilt-free weekend!!

I told myself that no work would be done in the weekend. And I kept my word!! The end result is that starting from tomorrow, there's tons of work to be done and no more slacking allowed. Argh... Think I've got to head down to school to do some work on the morrow. *sigh*

wonders if I should go for training on Monday... hmmm.... Maybe I should make the trip down. *meditates*

Teachers' Day

Well, it's sort of weird to be on the receiving end this time round. But it's all cool. Heh... coz there's no lessons today and the sept hols are finally here!!!!! Yippee!~!!

But seriously, today was pretty fun with one minor setback. I wore sport shoes today and my kids marveled over my height… or the lack of which. =_= Suddenly, they all seemed so tall. The concert that the kids put up was really cool. Especially the upper secondary performance! The band was cool (especially the one with one of my kids in it). =P The beatbox performance was super impressive and the monkey dance by the ncc boys was hilarious! We had a wonderful time trying to mimic them in the staffroom.

Things were so relaxed today. Though we were not supposed to, ben and I sneaked out to macs to buy breakfast coz we were jealous of the 4E1 kids who had macs breakfast as a prize for some competition some time back. Hahaha... Beng was happily waving the middle finger pen his kid gave him around in the staffroom... hehe... the people there are so funny sometimes. I didn't get much stuff lah. Some of the teachers have to use huge plastic bags to fit all their gifts and cards! Haha... mine can fit in my bag! I love the little notes and cards and little gifts my kids gave. I think the notes and gifts that touched me the most were from my form class. The little buggers can be so sweet sometimes.

Oh ya! One card made a huge impression and it was not even addressed to me! This kid from my form class wrote a note to one of the other teachers and I happened to read it. It was really touching! Coz this teacher had really made a difference in his life and that's what teaching is all about -the ability to touch lives and makes a difference. Man... I sound so cliche now. *puke puke*

Looking forward to meeting dearest J tomorrow and a guilt-free weekend ahead of me! Woohoo!! Happy Teachers' Day to ya all! =)

Fish

This is really ridiculous. I just got into an argument with my mum over a bloody fish! Or rather, I would say that I can't agree with her attitude. The fish was dying so she wanted my maid to scope it up and throw it away without delay. She wouldn't even buy medicine from the aquarium to give it a chance. When I asked if she was going to do the same to Toby when he's dying, she said yes. I got angry and said that then she shouldn't expect better from me when she gets older. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I kinda regretted them but I just couldn't back down. So now I'm not speaking to her. I regretted my words but I still don't agree with her attitude and her way of doing things. She may be my parent but she's not always right. I think I ought to consider this point in future when dealing with my kids.

Self Gratification Rocks!

Haha... Today's the long awaited day of the month and I blew a few hundred bucks in the space of a few hours... Sigh... I need professional help I do... But I feel so happy buying all those stuff! I went out with the intention of getting a new top and a pair of birkenstock. I ended up with no top (T_T), a pair of birkenstock (within expectation), a new pair of wedges(which my mum says looks exactly the same as my other pairs of wedges), a limited edition shimmer powder + lip gloss from Dior (they were so pretty that I couldn't resist them) and managed to settle Candice's upcoming birthday present! *feels accomplished* but the downside is that I'm now poorer and my school work's been left undone. Still, it was a good day today... with good food, good company and a satisfying bitching session. =P

Here's me and Nat acting spaz as usual...

Auntie and Ra posed for the camera... i.e. acting cute... esp auntie... wah lau... hahaha... but they're really cute lah... =P

Here's a pic of Nat acting spaz... which is her usual self by the way... while I try to appear composed and poised. hahahahahaaahaha....

This is more or less the only decent pic taken of us that doesn't involved any of us acting/appearing spaz or loony... =_=

Moving's a bitch!

argh... I never knew I have so much stuff that I don't need yet reluctant to throw away... every move involves decisions. What to throw, what to keep, what to pack and what to leave behind. It's tough making these decisions because somewhere down the line, I know I'll look back and think.. "Damn! I shouldn't have thrown XYZ away!!" but right now, it's too much of a hassle to bring everything along.

One thing keeps my spirits up though! I'm looking forward to meeting up with dearest J tomorrow and payday the day after!!! *grinz*

*wails*

T_T

I had forgotten to return my teachers investiture gown before the 6th of this month and lost my deposit of bout 50 bucks in the process. T_T I thought the deadline was the 8th!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH........my money.... my heart aches with the thought of the lost 50 bucks! T_T

Had my teachers investiture ceremony recently. One of the highlights of the month of July. Not because of the ceremony itself of course, it's the people that mattered. Met with the nie peeps for a round of much needed bitching. =P


Thought I'll upload some of the nicer pictures took recently as a break from the recent spree of "complaints" masquerading as blog entries. =P

A brand new month!!

Not a good day today. But I'll live. My classroom management skills still need tons of polishing I guess. But I really cannot take my sch's discipline policy. Whatever the kids did wrong, it's always "talk to them nicely"... what kind of a message are they trying to send out to the kids? Do something bad and the teachers will talk to you nicely about it? WTF!?

I'm pissed that this kinda kids exist and kinda glad that my form class don't have anyone like that in it. In fact, despite being rather naughty... ok... very naughty, my form class is also very sweet. Some of them even offered to help me "deal with that kid". Haha... I guess in life, you win some and you lose some. Nothing can be perfect... in fact, nothing should be perfect.

Here's hoping that everyone in my class can pass their history test and that tomorrow will be a better day! =)

It's sunday again...

It just kills me... that time passes so fast in the weekend! And so slowly during the week... The only saving grace is that I'll see my form class on monday. But knowing them, I'll probably leave the class fuming. =_=

When I'm feeling low, I'll just take out some of the reflections they wrote on friday and read em. And I'll realised (or rather reaffirmed) that it's not about me. It's about the kids. It's about helping them be all that they can be. I may not be able to do that well, but I have to try.

Oh well, as we all know, "self-centered" is my middle name. Let's hope that this belief lasts past this coming week.

Friday is my favourite day of the week!!

First off, today's my dearest dad's birthday!! Happy birthday papa!! Here's wishing you all the happiness in the world, not to forget good business and better luck in 4D! hehe...

Ok! Back to the subject of "friday". I'm always chirpy on fridays! It's really my favourite day of the entire week... because the weekend is here!!! That's how I live... from one weekend to the next. =P

But school is getting more tolerable. I love some of my kids... not all of them of course... but the majority are really adorable. Especially my form class. Yes, they may be a little naughty and noisy... ok... make that very noisy and inattentive at times, but they are really sweet. I never thought I'll say this but I love teaching them, talking to them, seeing them around in school.

Today for PCCG, the class had to write reflections on... basically anything under the sun. Some of the kids wrote some nice stuff bout yours truly. Hehe... and it really warmed my heart. =) Reading their reflections (i.e. some of their thoughts and feelings) made me understand them a little better. I really hope that i'll be able to help them pass their final year paper.

oooh... I love weekends!

Has been an eventful week to say the least. Racial Harmony Day was fun!! That's probably because I don't have any lessons that day. Hahaha...

I'm also getting used to the system over here. That's not to say that I'm entirely happy bout it, but because the people there are so nice, it's been getting easier to cope.

Met up with the people from DS! I miss them so much! They're such a fun bunch to be with. Oh! I think I'll be going for the same training course with H at the end of the year as well! Haha... it'll be fun if SL is going for the same course as well... but I shouldn't curse her lah. It's no fun spending 3-4 weeks of our precious holidays on a course. T_T

Also met up with some of my seniors from JC... hehe... it was fun catching up with them bout various teachers. Realised that the years passed by really fast... how I wish I'm back in JC again... T_T

Haha... enough maudlin stuff... got to get ready to go out! Weekends are too precious to waste!!

Retail therapy really works!

Went out with J on sunday and I went on a shopping spree! I’ve spent all my Isetan vouchers! Some on necessities, some on frivolous things that make me happy. Was thinking… oh what the heck! What does it matter as long as it makes me happy right? I need all the happiness I can get out of school! Hehehe…

On another completely unrelated matter... I've not been to training for ages!! I really need to get back to training... no... it's not to vent my frustrations about the kids and the school. It's so I can learn to better control myself. I keep telling myself... "keep calm and cool... they're not worth it." Sometimes it works, more often than not, it don't. I really think training will help me control myself better...=_=

Pillars of the future? Blah!

What's with the kids nowadays? I mean, don't get me wrong... some of them are so adorable but there's a few of them that made me fear the future. Heh, they're supposed to be the pillars of tomorrow if ya believe all that shit right? I sound like an old fudge but it has to be said. Their behaviour reflects on their upbringing or rather, the lack of which. =_=

Boot camp should suit them just fine! Nampy-pampy treatment is just going to make them worse. =_=

*Sigh*

I feel as though I’m waging a battle every time I go into the classroom. Sometimes I win, sometimes I get a draw… more often than not, I ended up losing the battle. It’s rather tough but I feel that I might be getting used to it. Haha… what else can I do… I have three years more to go.

Yippee for the long weekend!!!

Okies! One week down! And many more to go… T_T

It had been an interesting week to say the least. I can’t say that I was happy but now that it’s over, I do feel that perhaps it’s not so bad after all. =P

Though I’m sure I’ll feel differently once work starts again. Haha… it’s the long weekend! It makes everything seems more bearable. =P

Oh ya! My mentor is damn nice! He kinda reminds me of effendy... hahaha.... the way he looks, the way he speaks! Man... total effendy-like. The people there seems nicer by the day... maybe because I'm getting used to it. *sigh* but I'm still rather apprehensive about the school culture. It's just not what I'm used to. I simply cannot accept the fact that the kids' behaviour is considered acceptable in the school when it's completely unacceptable! Maybe I'm too rigid at the way I look at things but I don't foresee any changes in my perspective in the future because I feel that we shouldn't compromise on certain things. =_=

T_T

I lost my handphone today. As of today I’ll not be contactable through my old number until I get a new HP. T_T

I should get my new HP soon… perhaps Friday or Saturday. *sigh*

Heh. Life's not that bad...

I think I have a pretty good constitution. I fell sick on Monday but on Tuesday, I’m hale and hearty once more! Honestly though, falling sick really puts things into perspectives. I realized that health is something not to be taken for granted. I can’t even read or watch vcds in comfort yesterday. =_= Everytime I cough or sneeze, or move my head, I can feel my brain sloshing from side to side. Haha… sounds disgusting ya. It feels doubly so. =_=

But I’m ok now! I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Pain!!

My headache’s getting from bad to worse…

Actually it’s a migraine. How it hurts… realized that I shouldn’t eat when I’m having a migraine… I’ll puke it all out anyways. =_= Such a waste of money. *sigh* I really should go to see a doctor as J said. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I'm such a procrastinator. =_= Or maybe I'm just addicted to pain. =_=

Met up with the movie gang on Wednesday to have dinner and watch world cup. Anyways, I think I’ve broken my streak of bad luck! I bet on Spain and won!! Kekekeke… oh the Spanish players are all so cute! Almost all of us were gashing over number 9! I think his name is Torres. Ah! So cute! Only silly D was supporting Ukraine. =_=

Should sleep soon... my migraine is killing me. T_T

Resentment

I feel resentful when my mother lectures me on my spending habits and asked me why am I not giving her more money. =_= I feel that it’s very hypocritical of her and my dad to lecture me when I have to pay my own tuition fees when they paid in full for my elder brother. I know many people have it worse than me. They have to pay their loans and take care of their families at the same time. I know. But at the same time, I’m resentful all the same. I’m pretty sure they’ll help my younger brother pay his tuition fees when he goes to university in a few years time on the reason that he’s the youngest. Though I’m sure it’s because he’s a guy and my mother loves him more. The difference in treatment is apparent and disgusting. I won’t do the same to my kids if I have any in the future.

Hehe… thought it was rather funny…

Well, as most of you guys should know, I’m known for having extremely bad luck when it comes to betting on football. Today, it seems that even my support (without the betting) is detrimental to any teams.

Was at the coffeeshop in clementi interchange after training today with my kendo mates. The whole place was packed with people watching the World Cup match between Japan and Australia. Japan was leading 1-0 for most part of the game. But I wasn’t really paying much attention to the match. My fish soup held most of my attention. Then someone asked me which team do I think would win the match. Of course I said Japan. In quick succession, Australia scored not one, not two, but THREE goals. All the kendo peeps look at me with this expression –“=_=” and asked me my prediction for the next match coz they’re going to bet on the opposing team.

Of course it’s not my fault lah if the teams can’t play but it struck me as damn funny. Such a coincidence! Kimchi banned me from supporting the Korean team tomorrow coz she wants it to win. Haha…

Weird Dream

Had a weird dream last night where a few of my good friends died in succession. Now that I’ve been woken up by my HOD’s sms, I really can’t recall the details of the dream. I can only remember being rather sad and depressed. And no… in case any of you are wondering, I didn’t "kill" off any of them. They either died from weird accidents or illnesses. But in quick succession of each other. The feeling was sort of like one died and before you can get over his death, another one kick the bucket. All in all, it was a really weird dream. =_=

Over!

Results are out and everything’s fine and dandy. =)
Pass, credit or distinction… doesn’t really matter to me since it makes no difference in the pay but I wanted some sort of vindication of my two months in DS. And so, I’m rather happy with my practicum credit. The two months of hard work was not wasted indeed. Hehe…

But what I’m really looking forward to, is the increase in pay!! Hehe… that’s the most IMPORTANT component of the whole issue.

Old pictures...

I wanted to pick out some pictures to bring to my new workplace, to decorate that tiny table i've been allocated. And as I was looking through my old photo albums, the pictures sure bring back fond memories. The different people at different/concurrent stages of my life… I’m so glad I have them –the memories as well as the pictures. =)

Been really irritated recently

And I have no idea why. Oh wait… I know.

Reason 1 –It’s because my maid has gone back to the Philippines for a holiday and we’re really screwed! It’s tough taking care of Toby and going to school or going out or for trainings at the same time. I hate doing household chores… there’s a reason why household chores are called CHORES.

Reason 2 –My throat is killing me… the coughing is horrid and I can’t speak without my voice cracking… it irritates the hell out of me. Oh. And I’ve been getting these really annoying headaches every now and then.

Reason 3 –The weather these days… oh my fucking god! It’s horrible! How can the weather be so fucking BAD in recent days?!! I can feel the heat even indoors with the fan blowing right in my face!

Putting down all the reasons…. Its no wonder I’ve been feeling irritated recently. =_=

History dinner and misc stuff…

Wednesday marked the “official” end of my NIE life. Of course there’s still the “enrichment” programmes and talks in the weeks to come. Oh well, I can deal with that. We had our History Dinner after class on Wednesday at Amirah’s Grill. The food was great and the company was fantastic. So happy to be part of this class of weird and whacky people! Will surely miss them when we are all separated to schools all over the island. I sure hope we can meet up once in a while. But the dinner was a great end to an interesting year. =P


Here’s almost everyone in the class… pity we couldn’t get everyone. T_T
p.s: Thanx to David for the photo.

I went back for training again yesterday. It was still a struggle… I had to really convince myself to get out of the house for training. Now I’m taking it one training at a time. Soon… I’ll get back in the groove of going for training!

On a kendo high!

Went back to training after a long break. Perhaps the word “long” would be an understatement. Oh well. At least I’m back! And it’s a damn good feeling. *Grinz*

There’s something else I wanted to talk about… but I just can’t remember it now…. Too much endorphins in my system… clouding my brain… haha

Oh ya! Just remembered! I went down to my new workplace this morning. Hmmm… the HODs and the V-Ps seemed real nice and my workload should be fine. I’ll be taking two classes of secondary three (express) and two classes of secondary two (normal academic) for history. As for literature, they’ve given me two classes of secondary twos (express). The workload’s pretty light but the responsibility is kinda heavy! I’ll be following my secondary threes up next year so it’ll be kinda scary.

Oh well! Here’s hoping everything will work out just fine! =P

Mdm Wong is married!~! Omedetou!!

*throws confetti*

And so, together with some of the kendo peeps, we went to attend his wedding dinner at the Pan Pacific. It was a pretty decent affair. Classy, yet not overly extravagant. There were bout 3 tables full of kendo peeps. The sensei table, the national team table and us… haha… the old-timers of NUSKK. The bride was sooooo pretty! ZX is such a lucky guy. =)

I took some pictures… but not a lot coz my camera battery died on me. T_T


The lucky groom with his pretty bride… but the lighting wasn’t too great… *sigh*


Monkey and Saizou


The two oldest characters in NUSKK… and I’m serious… notice da jie covering his forehead? Haha… he doesn’t want his hair to be seen.


Uncle WK acting silly… hehe…


I think this is one of the nicest “big heads” pictures I took that night. Haha…

Arghhhh….

Well, school postings are out. My posting's certainly not my first choice. I’d much rather go back to DS. Even if I had to teach E-Lang! T_T

But a lot got to do with attitude. As J said… I got to put on my “game” face and try to view it in a positive light. Who knows? I might just like it there… =_=

But do let me finish my moping for the rest of this week… T_T

Wheeee!!

It’s over!!! Now I’m not sure if I’ll end up back in DS but I wouldn’t mind either way. There’s the good and the bad in both possible situations. But the kids were so sweet. I’m not a sentimental person but I have to admit that I was rather touched by some of the kids.

The stuffed pig was grand… hmmm I wonder how they know I love pigs. =P The little bottles filled with paper stars and (undeterminable) beans were thoughtful and sweet. The rehearsed message that one class read out to me at the end of my class was unexpected and totally adorable. But what touched me the most were the cards that they decorated and the messages they wrote inside the cards. This kid even walked me back to the staffroom, helping me carry my laptop after my last lesson with his class. He just said three simple words at the end, “Take care, cher” – but it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It’s really the sincerity behind the words that matters.

I’m really going to miss my students… even though I might not be the best teacher around, in fact, I KNOW I’m not that good a teacher but I had fun teaching them and I sure hoped they had fun during some if not all of my lessons. =P Here’s wishing them all the best for their mid-years!

Oh ya… I just got home! But no… I did not party the night away… I merely bummed the night away at J’s place after attending part of the SDA rally last night with Kitty. I’m sure Mr. C will do a great job at PP if he’s elected again but the SDA rally was not particularly exciting. Totally unlike the WP rally I went to previously. So after staying for a little while, kitty and I made our way to J’s place for some pizza, documentary and drama. Haha… but the documentary we watched was super cool. It’s called “One Day In September” and I want to own it! Yosh! Time to visit HMV!

Heh. It’s after 8… time for me to go vote! My vote is secret and sacred! But I’m going to wear my new blue wristband (which kitty bought) when I go down to vote!

进步？

我想，这十个礼拜的经历让我学会了好多东西。我学会了包容，迁就和看开。

包容，是要包容学生所有的习性。好的与坏的之间往往只有一线之差。往往只是观念的问题。当然我们也不能纵容他们的恶习，不然后果不堪设想。

迁就，是因为发现要在这现实社会待下去，人与人之间的关系是非常重要的。要学会如何去迁就别人和如何与别人相处。当然也不能样样都迁就别人，因为这样会被人家看不起的，是懦弱的表现。

看开，这其中当然也包括了怎么“放手”。发现了这世上有好多事是不能强求的。做人也不可以太过执着。不然，最不开心的还是自己。

我想，虽然不多，我的确有了那么一点点的进步。

Hehe... 4 more days!!

Heh. Here's a pic of us (H, SL and Me!) acting cute in the staffroom to celebrate the fact that there's only 4 more working days left in our Practicum! I'll surely miss my fellow trainee! They are a fun bunch to hang out with. T_T

And the kids of course.... they've grown more adorable throughout the course of these 10 weeks. Besides the joy and excitment of beginning a new chapter in life, there's also sadness at the thought that I'll not get to see these kids again. Oh well, 天下无不散之宴席... who knows, I might just end up back at DS in a few years time. =)

It’s nearing the end of the road…

And I actually felt a little sad. Contrast it to the previous posts that I made about wanting Practicum to end ASAP, it might be kinda weird to say that I’m sad that practicum’s going to end soon. It’s not that I don’t want to go back to NIE, it’ll be fun to see the NIE peeps again. But there’s so much that I’ll miss in DS. Well, not so much… but mainly my fellow trainees and the kids.

My SCM actually asked if I’m interested in teaching English, coz DS is in need of e-lang teachers and they’ll get me to stay if I agree to teach e-lang. It’s always a comfort to go back to familiar surroundings but I have no confidence in my grammar. I never really understood the intricacies of it. =_= Besides, I’ll never know how good DS really is until I have experience at other schools. And DS really is a great place. They have a fantastic school culture and the kids there are adorable. If any of the NIE peeps are posted there, they’re really lucky.

Though it’d be supreme irony if they make me teach e-lang over at my new posting. =_=

It’s all over!!!

It’s been a fucking long time! But now it’s all over! Cleared my final formal observation by my Hist CT! I really don’t know what he thought of that lesson coz it’s a very basic lesson with just teacher-talk and questioning. I hope he’ll find it all right. Heh.

But that’s not the most important thing. The important thing is that it’s all over!!! And the behaviour of the class touched me deeply. My very first observation was with this class too and it didn’t turn out too good. But this lesson gave me a good feeling. The little and some not so little munchkins were really sweet. That class is one of my most notorious classes. But they behaved themselves for my observation. =) The guys were really adorable today –cooperative, enthusiastic and responsive. I couldn’t ask for better students. =) That lesson just made my day!

Edit: I just got back the APT form from my CT! It’s not too bad I guess, especially when compared to my first ob. Huge improvement I’d say! Haha… my CTs are all nice folks. =)

One more to go!!

Decided to have a formal observation by my lit Ct on the spur of the moment. Must be ra’s fault. =P

Hahaha… anyways, I decided to get it over and done with despite not having prepared much. But it went well I guess. My CT was happy with the lesson and the way I interacted with the kids. I’m happy with my new approach too. Being more relax in the classroom really helps. I don’t get irritated and the kids are also happy. So in the end, everything went well and I’m kinda relieved. Just one more this Friday and it’ll all be over! Getting the APT form from her tomorrow... hopefully it'll be good! =)

The kids were just adorable today. I think I’m really going to miss them when practicum is done. T_T On the other hand… I can’t wait for it to end! =P

The long weekend is bliss incarnate!

Heh. Despite life getting easier, the weekend’s still something to look forward to. I can’t wait to get back to NIE! Argh… though there’s still the literature assignment left undone. But I’ll churn it out by Monday I guess. Nat, Ra, you guys wanna meet up in NIE on Monday for some makan?

Sigh… been back to training last wed and nearly died! My muscles are still aching. It felt good but the lack of regular practice really killed me. I think I’ll have to be more regular in future.

School was rather hectic this past week. I’ve been rather stern with the kids and I’m kinda upset about it. I really don’t like to scold them. And I really feel that it’s not that effective. But I really cannot find any other way to get it into their head that it’s really for their own good! I very much suspect my own teachers felt the same way I do now back when they were teaching my class. Hahaha… frustrated and helpless coz the kids just don’t wanna learn. But it’s affecting my mood. I’m gonna cool it and take a more relax attitude next week and see how it goes.

Some of the kids are really adorable though… hmmm… even though some of em are slightly crazed. They really are! A little crazed that is. Haha… especially this group of secondary two girls I taught for a little while before the switch in timetables caused me to give up their class. Adorable but wacky. Loved the wackiness though. They’re funny. =P

Gonna miss my fellow trainees too when I leave DS. T_T Not equally of course. Haha… there are some I like more than others. =P I’ll surely miss SL and H the most! There’s this kid in one of my classes. He’s pretty cute lah I’ll have to say. H is sooooo taken with him. Kept going on and on about how cute he is. I have to remind her that he’s not legal yet. Haha… I do agree that he’ll be a heartbreaker when he’s older. Now, I just wish he’ll read the text and do his homework even when I'm not there to nag him into doing it. =_= Coz I feel he's a smart kid and capable of so much more.

Life outside school…

Sometimes, it’s easy to be consumed by school life. Practicum takes up so much time and it’s so easy to be overwhelmed by it all. Thank goodness for my dearest friends outside the school context, like J and the kendo peeps, who’s always there to hear me whine and offer constructive comments.

Went out with the kendo peeps on Thursday night because Z came back from Japan… that lucky thing! =_= It was so good to meet up with the gang. All the conversations about training, about who’s back and who’s missing and who’s being irritating, really made me realize how much I miss trainings and hanging out with them. They are really a hilarious bunch of juniors/friends. There’s no doubt that the kendo community is a really close-knit one. It made me a little sad that I’ve excluded myself recently because of practicum. Yosh! I have to make time to go back for training… though I’ll most likely not survive the training… =_=

Friday was exciting… there’s no other word to describe the experience. The exhilaration of rushing out an assignment on the deadline itself coupled with the planning of lessons for the day made for a very exciting day indeed. But I’m glad I managed to churn it out. Now there’s only the literature assignment left. Hehe… I’m sure the Good Friday weekend is sufficient. But it was good to see my NIE mates. Good to chat about our experiences and gossip about “the thing”. Can't wait to see them in back in NIE!

Only a few more weeks to go… I’ll be glad to go back to NIE but I’ll surely miss the kids at DS. It started real slow but they’re starting to get really adorable. Hmmm... I wonder why... *ponders*

Ps: J dearest! Thank you thank you thank you!!! Words cannot express my gratitude… what would I do without you!~ But expectations really kills… the book wasn’t as good as I’d hope it would be. =_=

oh where has all my money gone too?

I should be saving lots of money since I have no time nowadays… but unfortunately, retail therapy works for me. So instead of saving, I spent even more than usual. Hahaha… but it makes me really happy. So I guess it’s all worth it! =)

Hectic week up ahead. Lesson preparation’s a bitch. =_=

There’s going to be another formal observation by my sup, and I’m going to request for 2 observations by my main CT so I can finish the assignment set by ms Sandra by 7th April. I think there’s going to be another observation by one of my other CT but at this point in time, the memory’s all fuzzy. Here’s hoping that all goes well!! Oh well, at the very least, the people factor is tolerable. I think that’s the most important factor in any workplace.

*ponders*

To all my nie mates out there “braving the wilderness”! Take heart! The end is near! Hahaha… =P

It’s the 5th week! Oh god… just 5 more weeks to go!

Well, the reason I haven’t been blogging is that I’ve been busy. Busy getting myself into trouble! =P And being forced to write reflections everyday does put a dampened on my blogging mood. =_=

But yeah… time just seems to fly. Tomorrow’s my first formal observation by my sup… whom I’ve never seen before in my life. Here’s hoping that everything will go well! =) Everything seems to be speeding up. I hope there’ll be nothing seriously wrong with my lessons. =_=

Oh ya! I tried to access the nie portal but realized that I’ve forgotten my password! Anyone out there who knows my password? Ahhh…. Or anyway of changing the password? Help! T_T

Oh where has the week gone to?

It’s the end of the holidays! Oh where has the week gone to? In less than 30 hours, I’ll be back in school again. *whine*

There’s still so many lesson plans left undone and stuff not prepared! Arghhhh… there’s still so many dvds I want to watch and books I want to read!! But we can’t always get what we want I suppose. =_=

Oh well, at least I did some research for history. The national library is my new best friend! Their reference section is fantastic! Perhaps it’ll be my new favourite haunt!

Wah… that does sound sad…. a library being my new favourite place. Hahaha…

The week hasn’t been totally wasted I guess. Met up with nat and ra a couple of times, met up with J a few times, went to watch Army Daze not once but twice, watched a couple of good and not so good movies, and I was able to roll around in bed till 11am while J is slogging away at work! Wahahahahahaha…..

Anyways, Army Daze was fantastic! It’s amazing how a play written almost 20 years ago could be so relevant in today’s context. Kumar was fabulous and Robin Goh was surprisingly good as Kenny. But my favourite was still the ah-beng character played by Sebastian Tan. Ahhhh… I wish we could have done the play in school! Not bloody likely I'd say... =_=

*sigh* It’ll be back to 5.30am mornings for me in less then 30 hours. T_T

Man... I must be sick... =_=

Some of my fellow trainees are marking common test scripts now. It feels weird but I really wish I had something to mark as well. Ahhhh…. Life is strange… when I have too much work, I complain. When I don’t have much to do, I want something to do. =_=

Someone… please slap some sense into me!

Things are looking up…. I hope!

Finally met up with some of the NIE peeps (ra, shizhi, pearl, chin chye and auntie) on Wednesday. Fabulous! We should meet up more often guys! Next time with nat, yueheng and uncle! The Turkish food was great and the company was fantastic. All in all, a great day! We have to meet up again soon!

Thursday took a turn for the worse… I started teaching for real on Thursday. Murphy’s Law was the rule of the day. Whatever could go wrong went wrong. It was for most part my fault I guess. I did not go for a trial run using my baby ibook even though I know I’m not too familiar with its functions. In the end, I conducted a chaotic and confusing first lesson. I couldn’t even cover half of what I had originally planned! The subsequent lessons were equally bad though not as chaotic as the first one. I feel as though the students were looking at me with a “Man! You’re incompetent” look in their eyes! T_T Felt so depressed over the lack of quality in my lessons. That was totally not what I had envisioned my first lesson to be! But I’ll have to thank one of my CT (who is also a Shahrukh Khan fan), who helped me solve this very horrid IT problem!

Actually, one thing I can be grateful about is that all my CTs are freaking nice! All three of them!! I really think it all depends on luck. Whenever I hear about ra’s CT’s newest “exploits” I feel thankful. Hang in there ra! Don’t let him get you down!

Took a cab down for training after school… cab ride cost me 18 freaking bucks! I really should buy the shares of the cab company. Transport is taking up almost half my pay!! Oh well, it was worth it coz I got to see Kato Sensei! It was great seeing him so healthy and vibrant. He’s honestly the most healthy 70plus years old man I know. Did not get a chance to spar with him. Hopefully I’ll be able to on Sunday’s training. Yosh! I’m feeling enthusiastic about training yet again… it’s really 'mind over body'.

Friday was a good day. My lessons went ok… or at least that’s what I would like to think so. Covered what I intended to cover and perhaps with the use of IT, I got to show off my keynote presentations. Haha…but the actual fact was that anything would be considered an improvement from Thursday. =_=

Stayed in school till 6!! But it was real fun! Back in the workroom, as the hour got later, I could blast my mp3s and chat and laugh with my fellow trainees. But as we were happily bopping to a Eminem song, my SCM walked into the work area… =_= I had to roll myself over (was on a chair with wheels) discreetly and turned down the volume…

Highlight of the day -Met up with J for makan at ikea. Coz of the crowd at the restaurant, we just sat at one of the displays and talked for ages. The meatballs at ikea were fantastic! Yum!

J, let’s go eat Turkish food soon! They have really salty stuff! Hehe…

Good friends really make my day. =)

Meh…

Haha… the word “meh” just reminds me of Jaime. But it so reflects my mood at present. I miss ya Jamie Townsend! Please get your tattooed ass back in Singapore when you go for your honeymoon!

Ahhhh… it’s gonna be Friday tomorrow! Woohoo!! I want to go out and paint the town red!!! Nay… just kidding. =_=

Practicum is fine I guess… haven’t got a chance to interact with the kids yet. Will most probably start late next week. The amount of preparation work required is incredible! That’s what one can expect when one has to teach secondary 1, 2 and 3 History! Not to forget secondary 1 Literature. Everyday is filled to the brim with lesson planning and PowerPoint presentation. Life is hard…

On the good side, I’ve got nice CTs and extremely nice fellow trainees with me. That’s something to be thankful about I guess. Life could be much worse…

Oh ya… life would be better if I had more money. T_T

Looking forward to meeting up with my NIE pals... esp my kg mates! do reply to my e-mail k! =)

My feet hurts… T_T

Wore my new heels to NIE yesterday… was trying to test them out and see if I could last the day wearing them. And of course, I wanted to alter my new pants and the heels were sort of a guideline. And so, when we left ra to her gesl presentation and went to jalan jalan at JP, I was suffering. Every step was a torture. But nat was nice enough to buy me a drink at LJS to ease my suffering. Haha… then we shared some mp3s using my baby ibook which has this cool program that can extract songs from ipods. Hehehe… hindi songs are nice!

Then despite my suffering, I decided to meet up with J for makan. It was only during dinner that J told me they actually provide shoes at the alteration shop for customers who wanted to alter their garments accordingly. That means… I suffered the whole day for practically nothing!!! But the trip was fruitful! My copy of SHANTARAM arrived!! My thanks to the good people over at sunny! *grin* I also got my pants altered in time for school on Monday and dinner was fun coz the company was good! We practically spent the whole time gashing over Lee Jun-Ki, the drama series “My Girl”, and Lee Jun-Ki!!!


Oh! He’s just adorable!!!

And well, Practicum is looming over the horizon…

Ah… just handed up one of the last history assignment before practicum. I must say that it is a relief to be free of assignments for a while and I’m quite looking forward to going to school proper. It’s going to be a whole new experience. Good or bad is still unforeseeable I think. Hahaha…

And ya! Dot! Let’s go register at ubi soon! I want to continue my lessons… I want to get a license. *whine*

I'm a germ factory...

*cries* I'm down with sore eye!! note... it's singular, not plural. =_=

My left eye is sore as hell and I can't open it pass a few seconds. T_T Why?? i've never really appreciated the use of both eyes till today! I can't do work properly... can't work on the stupid LORMS nor can i re-watch Hero for the philo project without feeling horrid. Worse of all, I can't watch my korean drama in comfort!

When I told J bout it, the reply is as follows:
"O_o <--- how appropriate.
or should i use O_-
wahahahahah!!!"

So evil!!! But it was funny as hell lah. hahahahahaha...

Misc stuff…

I haven’t been going for trainings in a long long while now. Work, health and holidays played a huge part but I have to blame my own laziness as well. =_=

Anyways… back to past events! I turned 24 past January and frankly speaking, I don’t feel any different. In fact, the auntie at 7-11 even asked for my IC when I went with dot to buy cigs the other day! Wahahaha… that was a riot. We were so happy to turn over our ICs. Hehehe…

Heh. This might come sort of late but thanks for all the well-wishes people, smses and phone-calls alike. Besides the ang baos and what-nots, I received very sweet presents from equally sweet individuals as well. Coerced or otherwise. =P

Dear Candice forgot bout my birthday… but since she paid for my Dior Play, I’ll forgive her. Haha…


I got a very cute Kon plush from vape, delivered right to the doorstep! So sweet of vape! He’s one of the nicest guys I know so far. =)

Cute isn’t it?

From my darling J, I got something I’ve always always wanted!! The Dior Gourmette!!!

Isn’t it pretty????? It’s my favourite so far! Hehehe… not to say I don’t like the other gifts, but it’s sooooo pretty!!

From my kendo seniors… I got a shinai bag I ordered from Tiff. That was sort of “coerced”. I choose the presents and all they have to do is to pay for it. Wahahahaha… I have nice seniors lah. But I haven’t seen the shinai bag as yet. Hope it’ll be as nice as I think it would be! =)

Ra, nat and hen… don’t think that I’ll forget bout the present! The 12th of February is coming real soon. =P

CNY was not as fun as it used to be. Maybe its coz my grandfather’s no longer around. The atmosphere seems rather muted this year. But it was a novel experience, getting ang bao from my elder brother. Hehe… we were so lucky my sis-in-law don’t allow him to be stingy with our ang bao money. *grinz*

The card games continued despite muted atmosphere. Hahaha… I won some money… a pittance really but still, a pittance won is still money! It was great seeing my cousins again! We don’t hang out as much as we used to. But it’s great that we’re still pretty close.
Here's throwing in a random picture of me with my cousins... not all of them of course...

It's slightly blur though... coz of the resolution. grrr...

And I finally learnt to play mahjong at the enginger’s house, taught by his “other sister” before going out to eat at fish and co. It was fun hanging out with the kendo peeps.

Last but not least… practicum posting is out and while I’m not exactly thrilled with my posting, I’m not dissatisfied with it. Well, at the very least, it’s not a ‘magical school’. And it also happens to be kitty’s old school. He assured me that it was ok…. during his time there. But that’s at least a decade back. =_=